Charmed Meets
by Kokoro E. Junnaya
Summary: A bunch of (slightly crack-y) drabbles and one-shots about Charmed characters finding themselves in other universes, meeting other shows characters, and causing their usual magical chaos along the way. I take requests.
1. Charmed meets Merlin

Am I starting a new story? Shame on me! :)

I just thought that it would help inspire me a little. I'm still working hard on Living Charmed, promise! The new chapter should be out about now, too, so yay!

I have no idea exactly how long this will be, what shows it will entail - only that it will be complete crack!

Charmed season - Beyond nine

Character(s) - Chris and Wyatt

Merlin season/series (whatever they call them in the UK) - ?! ?!

Character(s) - Merlin and Arthur

**Disclaimer: Neither Charmed nor Merlin belongs to me.**

* * *

Charmed Meets Merlin

Chris examined the blue-eyed man's chin carefully, ignoring his puzzled glances. Merlin couldn't stop staring back. Finally, the brown-haired boy raised his eyes to the famed wizard's.

"You don't have a beard." He pointed out.

Merlin looked very confused.

"No, I don't." He replied. They stared at one another a while longer.

Chris seemed to be waiting for Merlin to add to that, to explain or justify something, but he didn't say another word. After a minute he simply shrugged, and Merlin found himself shrugging with him.

With a sigh, Chris turned to speak to his brother and found that both blonds were caught in a staring contest, Wyatt gaping at King Arthur as he did so.

"You have my sword." The British blond commented. For a moment Chris thought that maybe the king was much more intelligent that his brother, his 'so called reincarnation' or whatever, and then the king scratched his head.

"Merlin, he has my sword." He said, gesturing to the weapon as he glared accusingly at the man by his side. "And it seems to be a lot more _powerful_ now."

Merlin shrugged again, not perturbed in the slightest at Arthur's almost whine.

"What do you want me to do, Arthur?" His tone was calming, and just a bit patronizing. Chris smirked – he realized he rather liked Merlin's snarkiness.

The once and future king all but stomped his foot impatiently. Like _someone else_ Chris happened to know.

"Why can't you make_ my_ sword more powerful?" He demanded.

Merlin threw his hands up in the air and turned to snap at his king.

"It's plenty powerful now, you dollophead! It's already made from dragon's breath, can kill the _dead_, Arthur, the actual _dead_, and can never rust, dull, or be lost.

I also killed Morgana with it." He added as an afterthought.

"But his can _fly_, Merlin." Arthur complained childishly. "Think about it – a _flying_ sword!"

"Make your own stupid flying sword!" The warlock snapped.

With a shared, knowing glance at his older brother, Chris pulled a crumpled spell out of his pocket.

"Maybe it's best we leave, now." He suggested. Hearing the cross shouting continue to escalate, Wyatt nodded, sheathing Excalibur easily.

"They're...different than how I'd thought they'd be."

Chris snorted.

"Yeah. So next time you think it'd be fun to go meet important people in magic history, remember this moment. I rather liked my idolized version of bearded-Merlin, you know."

As soon as he said it he regreted it. A mischievous gleam appearing in his eyes, Wyatt rubbed his (also) hairless chin in a clichéd but dangerous gesture.

"That can be arranged..." He smirked.

The next thing Chris knew, he found himself fleeing from an angry, recently bearded Merlin and a still-complaining King Arthur wielding the most well known sword in all of history, Wyatt laughing as they ran as fast as they could through the time portal.

Still, Chris decided, as magical mishaps went, it wasn't half bad.

* * *

A/N: Did you like it? I'm just getting things started, I'll probably edit it later. Request shows you want Charmed to Meet! I promise if I have even the slightest inkling to what the show is, I will write it. This is supposed to help get me started on my other stories. Lol. XD Opps.


	2. Charmed meets Supernatural

Woah, how did this get so long? I was supposed to be working on my persuasive essay! Ah, well.

Yes, Supernatural. How could I not? Please review and request what show you want me to do next! Thanks to everyone who faved, followed, and reviewed!

Sorry that this turned out less crack-y than I wanted it to.

Charmed Season - five-ish

Character(s) - Piper

Supernatural Season - um...?! ?!

Character(s) - Sam (Agent Angus) and Dean (Agent Young)

**Disclaimer: Neither Charmed, nor Supernatural belongs to me.**

* * *

**Charmed Meets Supernatural**

When Piper opened the Manor front door to reveal two (rather handsome) men in suits, she eyed them warily and kept one hand at the ready to freeze, in case the men weren't completely human. It wasn't paranoia; it was experience.

"Can I help you?" She asked slowly, glancing quickly between the taller one and the (relatively) shorter one. She had to strain her neck to look at them – they both made her feel like she was four-foot-nothing.

In perfect sync they pulled out matching badges from their coat pockets, the shorter one speaking for them both.

"Hi, I'm FBI Agent Young, this is my partner Agent Angus."

Piper squinted at the badges, then at the men. She tilted her head in confusion.

"You mean like _Angus Young_, the lead guitarist in AC/DC?" She asked doubtfully. Being the owner of P3, it was practically in her job description to know bands, or at worst become familiar with them.

Something flashed in 'Agent Young's eyes but it was long gone before she could decipher it.

"We get that a lot, Ma'am." He responded with a straight face.

Piper shot them a falsely large smile.

"Mm-hmm."

Surely they were demons, right? There was something shifty, not quite right about them; that much Piper was certain of. Plus, they called her ma'am! _Nobody _called her ma'am.

As if he was blind to the anger boiling inside the brown-haired woman, Agent Angus spoke up with a gentle, easygoing smile that would've made most girls swoon. Piper was married and loved Leo, of course, but _man..._It was gorgeous.

"We'd just like to ask you a couple of questions about the disturbance the other night." He said smoothly.

_Disturbance? _Piper wondered, frowning in thought. _Oh, right! The demon...the screams, the yelling...I guess the neighbors called it in. But why the FBI..._

Hesitating on letting two strangers into her home, regardless of their official status, she bit her lip and raised her hand up an inch or two in anticipation of freezing them.

"Um...uh...well..." But Agent Young's intense green eyes stopped her. They reminded her of Chris's.

With a swallow, she managed a real smile.

"Sure, uh, okay. Why don't you come on in..." She gestured to the hallway, letting the door open fully and the two men step inside.

"Your neighbors say they hear a lot of strange noises from this house," Agent Young commented, stowing his badge back into his jacket pocket and staring around at the Halliwell Manor.

_Figures we'd get the FBI snooping about, getting suspicious,_ Piper thought sarcastically. _We haven't had that in_ at least _a month_.

Letting off an airy laugh the Charmed One closed the door and strolled down the hall, leading them into the parlor while trying not to show her nervousness. She was fairly certain they'd already picked up on it, though.

"Well, this _is_ an old house." She told them over her shoulder, hands still itching to freeze or explode something. "It's been in our family for generations. I think it even goes back to the 1900's."

_That's when it was rebuilt after the San Fransisco earthquake, and the original actually goes back even farther than that. _She added mentally, playing dumb.

"I see."

She attempted not to jump at the voice directly behind her. Turning around in the parlor, she gave them both a strained smile.

"Can I get you anything? Tea?" She offered. She didn't like how the two agents were standing so stiff, tense and alert, and she _really _didn't like how their eyes darted back and forth, glancing at each other from the corner of their eyes. It was unnerving, and almost certainly cemented the fact that they were not exactly normal people. Too bad she was the 'good guy' and couldn't really blow them up unless she was sure, _absolutely sure_, that they were demons.

_Come on, then. Attack. _She urged them with a mental scowl.

"You get quite a few complaints from the neighborhood, Ms. Halliwell." Agent Young noted, clearly hinting at something. Also, he was irritatingly ignoring her offer for tea.

"Actually its 'Mrs.'" She corrected him. As if to prove it, she held up the hand with her wedding ring and smirked at him. "I'm married."

"And can you explain Andy Trudeau's death in your house, _Mrs. _Halliwell?" He questioned, using the proper address mockingly.

Suddenly she couldn't keep her façade up any longer and gave him a long, hard glare. Demon or not, bringing up the death of a friend – the death of someone _so connected _with Prue and her death – was beyond low. It was crossing the line.

"I think that this wasn't such a good idea. Maybe you should leave, Agent Young." She snapped.

Green eyes narrowed, darkened to a dangerous, glittering hazel (almost black) and if what happened next hadn't occurred, well...Piper was a little frightened to think about it. She would've won, definitely, but the man had an aura of someone not to be pushed.

Then a demon shimmered in. A normal, run-of-the-mill, stupid, clearly suicidal demon just appeared in her parlor, right in front of her; a completely normal, everyday happenstance.

"Oh, for goodness sake.." She mumbled. But the two agents whipped out their guns faster than she could blink – at least she assumed they were guns – and splashed the demon with water. She blinked. Wait, _splashed_? They'd just seen someone magically appear in front of them and the first thing they did was toss some _water _at them? Oh, so the taller one had pulled out his gun while the shorter on, Agent Young, had pulled out some sort of metal flask filled with liquid.

And then the demon began to hiss and scream and thrive – and they wondered why strange sounds came from her house – and she realized that it must not've been regular water. Just like they weren't regular FBI agents. Really, they weren't even _pretending _to look scared.

With barely a thought and a flick of her wrist, Piper selectively froze the poorly dressed, average-looking demon in the center of the room and spun to face the men.

"Who the hell are you?" She demanded, arms outstretched. The taller one, seeing her freeze the demon, turned his gun on her. Uh-oh. There wasn't really a desire to get shot in Piper, not today.

"She's a witch, Sammy..." The shorter one muttered. The disdain in his voice brought out an indignant huff in Piper, as she was somewhat used to the stereotype all-witches-are-evil thing. What she didn't quite understand was who they were; or more importantly, _what _they were.

"Yeah, I'm a witch. A good witch." She explained crossly. _A pissed off witch, too. _She added in her head. "So again, who the hell are _you _and what are you doing in my home?!"

"A 'good witch'?" The taller on, Angus or Sammy or whatever, questioned. As though he knew her power, he was regarding her raised hands warily, but Piper was more concerned with the gun in his hands. Did he really have to point that at her? She didn't exactly have great experiences with them, after all – she'd gotten killed with one, once. Ah. Fun times.

"Yeah. Good. The best actually – I'm a Charmed one, not that you've ever heard of 'em. Now for the last time; who. Are. _You_."

Finally, after many unreadable glances between the two and a couple of meaningful head jerks, they lowered their weapons (Actually, a weapon and some kind of knife and flask combo) and answered her. Well, the Sasquatch did, anyway.

"Uh...We're.."

The shorter one seemed to be trying to communicate to 'Sammy' to shut up through his glares. It didn't work.

"We're hunters. I'm Sam, this is Dean." He began.

Piper interrupted him with a groan.

"Hunters? Really?" Her tone was frustrated and upset. But only because she knew the hunter-type. "You guys are neurotic and crazy and do _nothing _but try to kill me."

He looked genuinely surprised.

"So you've heard of us."

The other one, Dean, seemed a little miffed at being called crazy (or neurotic), and part of her couldn't help but want to give him a triumphant smirk.

"And you say you're a...a 'Charmed One'?" Sam was surprisingly cute when puzzled about something.

_Married, Piper! You're a married woman! _She hissed at herself. The two men in front of her could make the most loyal of wives leave their husbands in a heartbeat.

"Yeah."

"The ultimate good, the witches destined to save the world, to fight evil, Charmed Ones?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"No, really – a _Charmed One_?"

"Yes." She said, getting a little annoyed. "My sisters and I are the Charmed Ones. I didn't know Hunters knew about us, though."

"Trust me, we've met witches." Dean broke in, a displeased look on his face. Oh, so they'd run into a few evil witches and suddenly the whole Wicca community was evil!

"Yeah, I'm sure you've met the greatest of our kind...So you're hunters. A-a-and you came here expecting some big supernatural thing, ghost or demon or whatever?" She attempted to clarify with a roll her eyes. "Well, congrats, hunters – this is both a demon hotspot and a demon cemetery."

Deciding that she'd prolonged his inevitable fate enough, and as a way of demonstrating what she meant, she flicked her hands at the demon in the room and watched in satisfaction as he exploded with a firey scream. All that was left was a pile of ashes.

"Woah..." Dean whispered. _Yes, _Piper thought. _It_'s_ nice to get some awe now and again._

"Did you see that?" Sam asked the brown-haired man in a low, shocked voice. If that alone, a sight that none of her sisters even blinked at anymore, left them with open mouths then...they were certainly in for a treat with San Fransisco.

Piper Halliwell flipped her long hair over her shoulder and propped her fists on her hips, spinning a little dramatically to face them once more.

"Hello, boys." She smirked. "Welcome to the Halliwell household."

* * *

**A/N**: Wow, that was fun! Maybe I'll come back later, make this a two-shot or something, if you like it.

Sorry if anyone seems out of character. Also, don't try to place this in any particular season – Charmed or Supernatural. I mean, yes, Piper and Leo are married, and Sam has his soul, and the boys have run into a few witches...but I didn't write this with any season in mind. So...it can be in whatever one you want. :D

Yes, these boys are _very _pretty. Er, handsome. But Piper would never cheat on Leo, so no worries.

Please send me a request on whatever show you want next! ^^ And review!


	3. Charmed meets Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Okay, this _had _to be done. Yep, it had to, sooner or later. I think I might actually come back and make the Supernatural one a two-shot, but that's probably going to require some sort of plot. So for now...you're stuck with crack-y stuff like this. Thanks again to everyone who reviewed, faved, and followed! This is really fun. ^^

Charmed Season - six-ish

Character(s) - Phoebe

Buffy the Vamp Slayer - er, two or three?

Character(s) - Buffy and random nameless vampire

**Disclaimer: Neither Charmed nor Buffy The Vampire Slayer belongs to me.**

* * *

**Charmed Meets Buffy: The Vampire Slayer**

If Phoebe had known that there was a magical, swirly vortex conveniently hidden behind the dumpster, she wouldn't have tripped. She wouldn't have stumbled in to it, cursing her three-inch heels all the way, and she definitely wouldn't have looked up from the ground to find herself covered in garbage in front of a really cute, pale guy.

Sure, she didn't regret vanquishing a demon in the alley and saving a random, scared innocent – but she had had _actual_ plans for the afternoon, shockingly enough. Plans that didn't directly involve her work, witchy stuff, or her sisters.

"Okay, ew." She said, picking off a particularly greasy burger wrapper from her elbow, where she'd landed on it. Making a face at the grunge she found herself suddenly surrounded by (why couldn't swirly vortex portals ever lead somewhere nice and clean?) she realized that the tall, pale man must've seen the whole, clearly magical thing and probably thought he was crazy now. She glanced up to explain, pushing herself up with her hands.

"Hey, um, guy, person -"

But suddenly he grabbed her by the collar of her new jacket, picked her off the ground and slammed her against the - different - alley wall.

Phoebe saw a glint of...fangs, maybe? Before he lunged for her neck and she felt a sharp pain there. Hey! What the heck was he doing?!

That really stinking hurt! Phoebe though indignantly. More instinctively than on purpose she kneed him in the groin and stomped on his feet, the usual way to free herself from an attacker's grasp - but he acted like he barely felt it. Okay. Fine, then. Right as she summoned her power, shot out of his grip and four feet straight in the air, someone yanked on the guy from behind. Well, not a guy, she supposed he must've been some sort of vampire thing. A girl, maybe sixteen, seventeen, who was extremely petite with blonde hair and a rather pointy wooden thing (stake, Phoebe remembered they were called), was jerking this vampire around like he was made of Styrofoam. The Charmed One watched from her high vantage point, amused, as the blond proceeded to kick the vampire's butt. Then, after making a witty quip at the demon thing's expense, she raised her stake high and sunk it deep into him. Like most other demon vanquishes, the guy screamed and turned to ash on the dirty ground. It was both completely ordinary for Phoebe, and really cool since the girl didn't seem to be a witch. This female was totally awesome.

"Nice job!" She complemented the blond, landing gracefully back on the cement, careful of her heels - and her likely twisted ankle.

The blond whipped around, stake at the ready, and looked at Phoebe with curiosity. The woman willingly raised her hands in surrender.

"Who are you and how did you do that floaty thingy?" The girl asked, approaching with caution.

Phoebe used her best and brightest grin and lowered one of her hands for the girl to shake. Depending on how she introduced herself, she could either be staked in the next minute or make a new friend in the Xena-blond type female.

"Phoebe Halliwell. I'm a witch. B-but don't worry! I'm a good witch!" She hurried to add. Opps.

At this, the blond girl smiled; and the empath was struck by how unbelievably beautiful the fighter was.

"I'm Buffy.." She greeted cheerfully. "I'm um...well, it's obvious but...I'm the vampire slayer."

"Vampire Slayer?" Phoebe echoed. That meant nothing to her - the book had never mentioned such a person.

"Yeah, you know...she who beats up all the bad guys? What, your coven doesn't know about the Slayer? And they live in Sunnydale and everything?" Buffy sounded seriously surprised. What was more shocking to Phoebe was the Xena-girl's comical, embarrassing name and why any sane mother would call her child that. Still, being in a family of unusual 'P' names, she wasn't one to judge. Or laugh. Or accuse the person of giving her a badly thought-up alias.

"Not in a coven, Buffy. Not even from Sunnyville, either. I just came through that," Phoebe pointed very clearly to the portal she's fallen into, a few feet behind them and still a tad hidden behind a dumpster. "And then I found myself getting rescued by you. Thanks, by the way."

"Uh, it's Sunnydale." Buffy corrected, not unkindly. "And sure. No prob. It's you know, my job."

Phoebe understood that.

"Well, as fun as getting bitten by a vampire is," Man, Phoebe hoped he didn't have rabies. "I have a dinner date to prepare for, so, you know.."

The Vampire Slayer frowned at her, and at first the Charmed One thought that Buffy didn't consider her capable of getting a date. Then she said,

"Um, I'm all for romantic dinners, but isn't eight thirty kinda late?"

"What?!" With no hesitation, Phoebe swooped on the girl's wrist and raised her watch to her brown eyes. They widened as the timepiece did show, in fact, that Buffy was correct. Mouth open, Phoebe blinked cluelessly first at the wrist in her hands, then at the vortex behind her, then at the watch again.

"B-but it was four-ish when I left work!" And yet the sky was already darkening, mocking her. She turned to glare at the magical swirl of doom, muttering, "This is all your fault..."

And she was torn between simply going back through the portal to see if time reversed and she ended back up in her alley again, or calling Leo to orb her home. Should she risk falling into some completely different alley maybe half-way across the world?

"You know, that looks kinda hazardous.." Buffy commented as she peered over Phoebe's shoulder. "I should probably do something about it."

If not for stumbling unwillingly through it or finding an innocent near it, Phoebe would've been inclined to ignore said portal. The cleaners could do something useful for a change, couldn't they? Not everything magical had to be fixed by her and her sisters, did it?

Abruptly, Buffy gave the empath a hard stare.

"You didn't make that, did you? With your witchy powers?" She asked accusingly.

Phoebe shook her head animatedly.

"Just fell through it, I promise. Although, I _could_ try a spell to fix it."

"You're not going to go back through it? To...?"

"San Fransisco."

"Oh, hey, that's cool. That's actually really close from here, I think, maybe like an hour."

The brown-haired woman had just _known_ the alley had a stanky, damp California-feel to it. It smelled just like the ones in her city.

"Really? Well if we're close, maybe I'll just drive there. No need to risk ending up across the globe, is there?"

Because magic vortexes really weren't a reliable way to travel. She'd found this out the hard way.  
"That's true...Hmm...I should probably tell Giles about this. You could come with me and I could ask my Mom if we could get a bus ticket."

"Aw, that's sweet! But I don't wanna trouble you or anything, I can just call my friend and he'll come get me, no problem."

She hoped Leo wasn't busy with Piper or anything - that would really be awkward.

"You sure?"  
"Sure! I can even try to get rid of this thing for yah. Least I can do for saving me and all." Phoebe grinned manically as she flapped a hand at the swirly mass of magic, knowing full well that her on-the-spot-rhymes only had a 50/50 shot of working, at best.

"Um..." What rhymed with portal? Perhaps she was better off trying a Book of Shadows spell instead. _I could use Paige's favorite! _She thought.

"Let the object of objection become but a dream,

as I cause the scene,

to be unseen," She uttered. She let out a satisfied "Ha!" when the portal on the brick wall next to the dumpster became nothing but brick once more.

It occurred to her that she was being fairly cheerful for someone who'd just missed a promising dinner date. It also occurred to her that she didn't really care. What had his name been, again? Don? Derek? Whatever.

When she looked back to see Buffy's face, the chick who'd totally kicked a _vampire's _butt was staring at her in new appreciation.

"Witches are cool." She breathed. Phoebe just laughed.

"Wait until you see this..." And opened her mouth to shout for her brother-in-law. Was she showing off? Maybe. Was she having more fun that she'd had in a while? Definitely.

But it wasn't like she had a hot date tonight, or anything.

* * *

**A/N**: Why am I not finishing my essay? It's due to-frickin-morrow and it's not even close to being finished. *Sigh*

Alright I'm sorry if either of the characters talked a little too valley-girlish. I'm tired and for a writer, words are not being my friends right now. Also...Phoebe! She needed some love :) Yeah, when I said the Charmed characters, I meant _all _the Charmed characters...Or at least all the ones I can write relatively in-character.

This actually seems to be in season six for Charmed, where Phoebe is completely focused on getting her baby girl but is dating everyone in sight to do it. As for Buffy, sometime after Willow became a witch...dunno.

I'm thinking of Smallville next. Thoughts? Requests? Please review and tell me what you think!


	4. Charmed meets Angel

Did I say Smallville next? A reviewer suggested Paige in Angel, and this just kinda appeared..heh heh. Heh.

Thanks again to all you crazy kids that bothered to read this and fave/follow/review! You guys are why this gets updated semi-quickly. ;)

Charmed Season - five/six

Character(s) - Paige

Angel Season - two or three?

Character(s) - Angel, Cordelia, Fred?, and Lorne

**Disclaimer: I own neither Charmed nor Angel**

* * *

**Charmed Meets Angel**

"...and you say the Temp Agency send you here? To do..._my_ job?" The pretty-but-snarky brunette sitting at the front desk was still repeating her words and gaping at her in a sort of catatonia state. Like she was such a shocking person.

And as much as Paige liked the old, largely empty hotel that these detectives were making their office in, the dust and spooky sounds were starting to get on her nerves, making her a bit cranky.

"Here's the thing," She began, shooting the woman one of her famous sarcastic smiles. "I sort of have a thing about temp jobs. They usually come to me for a good reason and sometimes I even uh, _help people_ on them. So if I got this job then it's gotta be for the greater good, right? I mean, I just wanna help."

The tanned-skinned woman simply stared at her, unmoved by her small speech. She was nibbling absently on a pen and had to pull it out to speak again.

"Mmm-hmm. Paige, was it?"

Paige nodded dutifully. Why couldn't these things ever be simple? Why couldn't these temp jobs go smoothly, without any hitches or magical feuds or tiny blue demons? All she wanted was to assist the magical community and make some sort of paycheck. That was it.

"Well, Paige, we didn't ask some Temp Agency to send us anyone, thank you very much. So I don't really care how much you think doing a bunch of random jobs with help change the world, I just want cha to leave."

_Does she have to sound so cheerful about it? _Paige thought with a mental scowl. Still, she couldn't very well just give up. The last time she hadn't been at her work, magical folk hadn't known where to find her. They needed her. She had to be here!

"Come on, er," She glanced at the secretary's coffee cup for a name. "Cordelia! Don't you believe in destiny, or fate, o-or some kind of higher power?"

The last word stilled Cordelia and her pen on its journey back to her mouth. Aha!

"Powers that Be..." She mumbled, too low for Paige to truly catch. But the Charmed One did realize that the brunette's feelings were being swayed, and she had to resist a triumphant jump in celebration. Yes!

Suddenly, the office door to the side of the desk opened and out stepped a beautiful...really pale, really broody-looking man, interrupting their conversation just as it was going somewhere. The cup of unidentifiable dark liquid convinced Paige of what she'd suspected on sight. It was obvious, really.

"A-are you...a vampire?" She turned to Cordelia anxiously. "I-i-is he a vampire?"

"What? No! What?!" But the brunette's voice was several octaves too high to be believed; she was lying.

"Cordy, who's this?" The man asked, glancing at the newcomer in concern, though otherwise not bothering to hide anything.

Cordelia might have been better off with that plan, too. These guys were worse liars than the Charmed Ones themselves.

"Angel! This is, this is just a misunderstanding. This girl -"

"Paige." She supplied. As if her name would stop the flood of excuses about to come.

"Yeah, she somehow thought that the Temp agency sent her here! I was just telling her that that's crazy, cause we don't need help here and that she should go –"

Two minutes ago she would've stepped in and argued. Now it was all fine and good because Paige was more focused on the man beside her, and his silent, supernatural presence.

"Yeah, you're a vampire." She decided. The thing turned its piercing brown eyes on her and she gasped, stepping back instinctively.

"No, no, definitely not! Angel...! Tell her!"

He cocked his head to the side, ignoring his secretary.

"How did you know?" He asked instead

"When you've run into them a few times before, you tend to get good at spotting them." She said wryly, slowly backing up even further. Witches powers didn't work against them, she remembered, only Power of Three spells. Just as she was considering orbing home to retrieve her two sisters from their work, she thought of something.

Hang on a minute – the card had said _Angel Investigations _and this guy was named Angel? Wouldn't that make him...

"Your boss is a vampire?" She questioned the girl incredulously. After looking helplessly from Angel to the Charmed One, then back to a non-responsive Angel, she threw her hands up in the air.

"Yeah, fine." She admitted. "But he doesn't bite people or anything."

"But he's a _vampire._" Now Paige was the one repeating things. She'd seen a slew of demons, creatures, and myths she'd never believed in come true after she had realized her witch nature, yet this was the only thing she'd become. And it was scary.

"And who are you?" Perhaps if he'd been human his voice wouldn't have sounded so dangerous, his movements so intimidating. Yet he wasn't - he was one of the few creatures she couldn't really fight against. Very, _very_ scary.

"Paige Matthews." She answered defensively. "And I'm a witch."

If she had expected the two to gasp or laugh or snort in disbelief, she would've been majorly disappointed; all Cordelia did was look to her boss, confused.  
"Witches have temp jobs?" She stage whispered to him.

Paige finally allowed her scowl to break the surface. She shot the girl a glare.

"No, but some of us have lives." She snapped. _Or we at least try to. _She thought.

And then there was this awkward silence, where Paige wanted to leave because of her history with vampires, Cordelia wanted Paige to leave because she thought it was all a misunderstanding, and Angel just sort of stood there sipping his cup of what was most likely blood.

As the witch-lighter was considering simply claiming that it was, indeed, a mistake and she should go, she was halted, mouth open, by something unusually usual.

"What the-"

It was the sort of thing she really ought to have expected by now, but never did; it was magical, it looked like trouble, and it was walking towards her. Er, actually past her, only she figured that out a minute too late.

"Hey, Angelcakes! Cordelia, my sweet buttercu-" Paige didn't hesitate to attack the green demon fellow. Although as it turned out, he was friends with the vampire and secretary.

So it was after smashing a vase on their (surprisingly amicable) demon friend, accidentally spilling the vampire-boss's blood, and ruining (only _mostly_ on accident) a recently-arrived girl's taco that Paige decided she'd done enough for the magical community that day, and orbed out of there with a hurricane of "Sorry!"s.

Alright. That was it - she was _done _with temp jobs.

* * *

**A/N**: I wasn't quite sure how to end this one, but I love Lorne so of course he had to come in. I figured that Paige wouldn't really get along with any of the Angel characters, especially Cordelia. I mean, I love both shows and all of the people in them, but some characters just aren't compatible, you know? Still, I hope this was enjoyable.

Smallville is probably next. That or Percy Jackson - suggestion by a reviewer and I'll admit, I was interested. Hope everyone was in-character for you!  
Please keep reading and review! See you soon :D


	5. Charmed meets Doctor Who

For the record, there will _definitely _be more Charmed meets DW's. I am in crazy-fan-girl-love with that show right now. Still, this little crack-thing just popped out of my brain, so I thought I'd post it.

The doctor - Tenth

Companion - Rose

Season - ? ?

Charmed character - Piper

Season - ?! ?! ?!

**Disclaimer - I own both Charmed AND Doctor who? Yes! Woohoo! What? No, I don't? Aww...**

* * *

**Charmed Meets Doctor Who**

"No. No, I just, I can't."

"Oh, come on, Piper!"  
"...Um.." The very pregnant Halliwell took one last look at the disappearing/reappearing blue box, to the man in the trench coat with an enormous grin on his face.

"No." She affirmed, shaking her head. "No, it's just too much."

The man groaned, running a frustrated hand through his messy hair.

"You are a Charmed One who deals with magical creatures every day of her life, in fact, t-t-this whole _world _is brimming with impossible things, why can't you just –"

"No." She said stubbornly. "Witches, whitelighters, fairies, leprechauns, banshees, vampires...fine. That's fine. But aliens? That's where I draw the line, Mister Alien Doctor."

It didn't matter that his box was larger on the inside than it had any right to be, that she'd heard his two hearts beating in rhythm, or that she'd just helped to stop an evil invasion of metal men. There was only so much she could accept as reality and aliens were seriously pushing it.

Just for extra measure, she shook her head again.

"Rose, she's still not listening!" He shouted to his tiny wooded box, as if tattling to a mother on a child that wouldn't share.

The blonde girl, who had _also _assisting in stopping some world domination or other, poked her head out of the phone box with an annoyed expression on her face.

"Doctor, you specifically told me before we came here that Piper Halliwell was incredibly stubborn. And brilliant."

Against her will, a blush crept into Piper's cheeks. Though she wouldn't admit what the man was, exactly, in the last twelve hours he'd proven himself to be no less than a genius; so if he considered her to be 'brilliant', than she must really be so.

"You said that she probably wouldn't believe us no matter what we showed her, d'you remember?" She asked patiently, patronizingly.

The Doctor scowled, throwing his companion an indignant glare before settling his gaze back on the woman in front of him.

"I didn't say that!" He all but pouted.  
"Yes, Doctor, you did."

"No, no, no, I said that _I _would be the first to convince her of aliens, that she would be incredibly stubborn until she saw the _Tardis_."

Piper flitted her eyes back and forth between them, smiling in amusement. If she knew how, she might've simply given in and admitted that he was something she hadn't come across before. But Piper Halliwell didn't. So she leaned against a wall and contented herself with watching them argue like an old married couple, and enjoyed the show. Her baby girl liked it, too.

* * *

**A/N**: Baby Melinda! Um, so yay! I actually have a Smallville one planned. Finally. So...it's a 50/50 chance it'll be that next. Again, sorry if anyone was out-of-character. Keep in mind this is mainly, a crack fic. Sorta. Well, it was _supposed _to be...

**Leana**: I went and watched Sabrina the Teenage Witch (the live show not the cartoon) just cause you asked me - twice. I'll write one for you soon, okay? Be patient with this humble procrastinater because despite multiple rumors (which may or may not be true), I do actually have a life.

Please keep a'reading and reviewing?


	6. Charmed meets Supernatural again

Thanks again to everyone that's reading, reviewing, faving, or following. Love you guys.

Charmed season - four/five-ish

Character(s) - Paige

Supernatural season - ?! ? ?!

Character(s) - Sam and Dean

**Disclaimer -** **Neither Charmed nor Supernatural.**..wait a sec, we already did this! Everyone already knows that it's not mine!

* * *

**Charmed Meets Supernatural...Again**

Paige could've ignored the vicious, angry ghost attacking two men in suits trying to burn a pile of bones. She could've. Really.

It would've been so easy to simply walk away and continue on her unplanned five-mile hike through the woods. She could've glanced at them and went, "Oh, hey, look, an uninteresting sight – I should keep going."

To be fair, it wasn't like the last few people she'd passed were doing anything _less _unusual. A man a mile back had been calling a tree Clarence, hugging it and kissing it and arguing with it; Paige had half-heartily wanted Clarence to be a real talking tree. It wasn't. But it did happen to bark a few times (no pun intended).

A couple she'd passed shortly after finding herself incredibly lost had seemed normal, helpful even, at first. They'd almost explained how to get out of the woods that she couldn't seem to orb out of. Then they turned blue, snake-haired, and tried to eat her.

So disheveled, make up smeared, high heels clutched in her hand, and beautiful strawberry-blond curls reduced to a sweaty ponytail, Paige stared at the men and sighed.

Either she helped them and hoped they could tell her the way out, or she kept going in this forest of craziness and risked being dinner again. Hmm, choices, choices...

"I really hate ghosts.." She muttered, before throwing her (very cute and expensive) shoes into a bush.

"Hey, you! Ghosty!" She yelled. The results were hilarious; the men gaped at her but didn't stop what they were doing – specifically, tossing matching around – and the ghost froze, mid-vengeance rant, and turned to face her with a bewildered expression on its undead face, as though no one had ever called it ghosty' before. Probably not.

If she wasn't so busy waving her arms and taunting it, she might've laughed.

"Ya you, undead face!" she called

The ghost pointed a bony, transparent finger to its face, as though asking 'Who, _me_?"

"Is there another ugly monster around?" She mocked. Now it appeared to have processed her insults as it was glaring furiously at her. It began to float towards her and scream at the top of its lungs. _Note to self, don't call her fat..._

Paige pondered the rationality of her decision as she ran, barefoot, through the forest of pointy twigs and rocks. What if the men were also insane and were not burning bones, but looting a body and setting it on fire for fun? What if they had stolen the suits from other dead people? What if she was on her own with the ghostly monster and would have to die – _again –_ to defeat it?

_I hope not. _She thought, breathing heavily. _I really hate dying. _

She turned her head to see if the beast was following her and just that moment, stumbled over a particularly large rock. Alright, she more like...ran into it. And it wasn't really a rock it was more like a...well, a boulder, that's what it was. Paige ran smack into a boulder.

"Ow...That...hurt..." She was entertained by inexplicable floating stars for a few minutes. before she shook it off. "Woah.."

Spotting the ghost still floating towards her, Paige felt along the ground for something to fight it with and cursed herself under her breath as she did so because, hello, this was a _ghost_!

"Um...um..tree branch!" She called, and was relieved to see that her orbing telekinesis worked even though her whitelighter powers didn't seem to. _Maybe it's a Charmed One thing_, she reasoned.

The arm-width tree branch next to her disappeared in a flurry of blue lights, soaring together at the undead creature.

Yes, she understood that it was a ghost, but she was dizzy, dirty, and desperate, the only other option being getting mauled to death.

Luckily, the men turned out to be somewhat sane since the ghost started to screech and writhe as the bones they'd lit charred. The thing vanished in an explosion Paige could really appreciate, seeing as how the ghost had given her a serious migraine.

Nodding sarcastically, Paige sighed.

"Okay, ruined my shoes, lost my way, almost got killed by a ghost, and embarrassed myself in front of two cute guys. Yep, I think I'm all done here. This is almost as bad as when I met that vampire... "

She glanced up and barely stifled a gasp, finding two light-hazel eyes lingering on her face – the owner having silently strode up to her.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, voice both concerned and deep. It was the kind of voice Paige could feel her heartbeat pumping faster for, her breath stopping in her throat just so she could hear it better.

"Fine." She cleared her throat to get the breathy sound out of her voice. "Fine, fine. I'm fine, just fine. Everything's completely..."

"Fine?" He guessed, his lips twisting into a half-smile. Oh, wow, had he always been that tall? And hot? Like really, really, _really _hot?

"Yeah..." Boy, she was certainly making a _great _first impression on him – he must be thinking, man, what a pretty, definitely not sweaty, smart, intelligent girl this is! She might've been strawberry-blond, but she may as well have been _all _blond to run into a freaking boulder!

"You're not scared of ghosts." His statement broke into her furious, belittling conference with herself. The witch-lighter let out a surprised laugh.

"Well, they're not exactly fun," She admitted. "But I guess not. You either, huh?"

"Nah. We're seen our share of those SOBs. Only this time, my _brother_," The tall, tall man jerked his head to the other male in the suit behind him and rolled his eyes.

"Had trouble getting the matches to start."

She tilted her head to the side in puzzlement. When he grinned at the quirk, she felt even more heat rise to her already crimson cheeks.

"To burn the ghost's bones." He explained easily.

"Ooohhh..." _So that's the other way to get rid of them. _

"Sammy! Stop! She's a witch!" The man yelled, and Paige froze. She hadn't been a witch that long, and though she hadn't faced any real prejudice yet, she still had shivers from when her sister told her the story of how she was burned to death. The Halliwell had enough sense to be a little wary when it came to humans and fire.

"Is that...a problem?" She asked tensely, sliding back a step from the massively adorable giant...who had a large knife. Whoops, she'd completely missed that. Best not to upset him then.

"Depends..." He answered, narrowing his eyes. In any other situation Paige would've been thrilled beyond imagining to see him checking her out – she just hadn't wanted the man to look her up and down whilst deciding whether to kill her or not.

"I'm totally a good witch!" She insisted. "I help people, save innocents, vanquish demons – that sort of thing. Oh! I'm also a Charmed One...but I guess you wouldn't know what is, huh?"

Surprise lightened his suspicious hazel eyes to almost a gentle brown. 'Sammy' shot a look to his brother and apparently, despite the good twenty yards between them, they managed to have a whole conversation. When he turned back to her there was a smile on his stubbly (not a beard, though not quite shaven, the way Paige liked it) face and the Halliwell found herself stepping closer to him without meaning to.

"So you must be Piper's sister." He said. There was relief on his face and in his tone.

"Y-you guys know Piper?" She questioned. The other man, Sammy's brother, strode up with a confident and definite swagger and responded before the taller man had a chance to.

"We met her a couple weeks back and nearly killed her." What was he sounding so smug about it for? Why hadn't Piper mentioned this?! Were they some kind of witch hunters?!

"You mean we nearly _tried _to kill her, Dean. It was all a misunderstanding and besides... Come on, even you wouldn't have been so stupid as to take her on." Sammy spoke up.

For a long moment the witch-lighter mused upon that new piece of information, the forest around her, and how incredibly handsome the two brothers were.

"Well..." She finally said. "I'm Paige. And so long as you guys aren't demons and don't try to burn me, or my sisters, at the stake, we're all good."

Just in case she glanced up (way, way up) at Sammy, who in turn looked to Dean, who shrugged.

"Sure. We're good."

She beamed up at the both of them.

"Great! Now, if either one of you knows the way out of this place, I could really use some help."

Suddenly Dean stepped in closer and narrowed his eyes at her, scrutinizing hers for a long time. Had he changed his mind about vanqui-er, killing her? Was that another knife he had on him? She felt her breath catch, even though she could probably take them with her magic.

Eventually he began to smirk, and opened his mouth.

"Only..." He began dangerously. "_If..._you buy us some pie."

It took all she had not to burst out laughing.

Needless to say, Paige agreed on his terms, and not an hour later she was scarfing down a whole Georgia peach pie in some old diner someplace, the two hottest guys on the planet watching. And she didn't even care.

* * *

**A/N**: I don't remember who exactly asked for this, but a reviewer said, hey, Paige oughta meet the Winchesters. Next thing I know, this is on my computer. I think I'm possessed. I think I'm being possessed by a ghost who hates any sort of schedule, because I can't seem to write what I promised. Seriously (okay, not really).

The good thing is that this fic can be as many chapters as I want, whenever I want to update it. Mwahahah!

**Leana**: Now I feel like I snapped at you, lol. I hope you keep reading :)

Yes, Paige was in the forest of no orbing. How did she get there? Well, that's obvious! She fell through a plot hole, of course! And yes; I am a Sam girl. Sorry about being unfair to Dean in this fic, I really do love him too, promise!

**Please keep reviewing and reading! Thanks!**


	7. Charmed meets Smallville

The long awaited...Charmed Meets Smallville! Tada! Okay, so it's not much. But I've been promising it for like, six stinking chapters and now it's finally here! In other news, I got punched in the face yesterday. Really kinda hurts.

Charmed Season - two or three (obviously not four onwards)

Character(s) - Prue

Smallville - Early. High school years so...from one to three, I suppose. Before episode 4x08.

Character(s) - Clark Kent a.k.a future Superman

**Disclaimer - Oh, I don't own something? Tell me something I don't know.** (Now you have Selena Gomez's song stuck in your head. Your welcome.)

* * *

**Charmed Meets Smallville**

Though Prue didn't get annoyed often, this boy was trying her patience. Okay... so that was a complete and total lie. Prue got annoyed when Piper didn't stick up for herself, she got annoyed when her boss asked something huge of her at the last-minute, she got annoyed when Phoebe...was Phoebe. She got annoyed when her_ coffee maker_ acted up. But still – this was irritating her to no end.

"It's okay." She tried to assure him. "I know you saved that little girl. I saw you throw that guy into the wall."  
"Umm...what are you talking about?" The young man asked, his face filled with the appropriate amount of confusion. As cute as the tall, dark-haired, blue-eyed teen was, he was both too young for her and quickly becoming a nuisance.

"Oh, come on, I was _right there._" She gestured angrily to the alleyway they were still standing in.

His clear eyes clouding with fear, he violently shook his head and gave a shaky laugh.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, lady. Y-you must be hallucinating or having a stroke or something." He said, obviously lying. He was horrible at it.

"HOW OLD DO YOU THINK –" Prue sucked in a deep, calming breath and attempted to surrender her righteous indignation._ He's just scared. _She reasoned. _No reason to take offense, he was just trying to cover his tracks. Like we do. _

Somewhat less furious, she continued.

"It's fine, I'm not going to tell anyone or anything – I'm a witch, too. I'm one of the Charmed Ones."

Either the kid had suddenly gotten good at looking puzzled, or he genuinely had no idea what she was talking about.

"'Charmed One?'" He echoed. So far in her experience as more-than-a-mere-mortal, no one in the supernatural realm had ever failed to recognize what those two words meant, what her and her sister's destiny truly was, and Prue had to admit, she missed the usual gasp and reverent stare that accompanied it. Hmm. Maybe she was getting a tinsy bit proud.

Irritation returning swiftly, she tried to sum up something she didn't exactly understand herself, with mixed results.

"You know, the Charmed Ones? Three sisters, destined to fight evil, descended from Melinda Warren herself? No? None of this ringing a bell?" She watched as he shook his head negative. "Well, I mean... you _are _a witch, aren't you?"

A few moments ago it had seemed so blatantly obvious that he was a part of her world. She had actually been planning on asking him for help – and questioning how she'd gone from walking to her car after work, in the dark, to standing in a small back alley sometime mid-afternoon-ish. Then some kind of demon – he had certainly looked like a demon with glowing green eyes, claws, and a violent streak – had chased after a little girl, actually _throwing the car that she'd hidden under into the air _to get to her. And like some sort of superhero this boy had shown up, running faster than she could see, and saved the poor child by yanking the man away from her. Prue had been about to, of course, but had been seriously put-off by the Smallville named shops right in front of said alley-way. Last time she checked, Smallville wasn't the city she worked in; in fact, Smallville wasn't even a city in _California._

Now she was fine with most magical transportation, and orbing was actually sort of fun now that she'd gotten accustomed to it, but blinking and suddenly finding herself in a different state_ and_ time-zone was where she drew the line. She'd stick with cars, buses, and the subway, thank you very much.

"I'm not a witch, miss. I have no idea why you thought that, I mean, witches don't even exist!" The cute boy in front of her said, scratching the back of his neck in a small-town, homely sort of manner.

Prue Halliwell took to patience like demons took to sunshine; so rather than argue about what she plainly saw to this teen-in-denial, she waved a few fingers at a empty, littered soda can and felt a smug smile unfurl itself unto her face as the can obediently flew into her hand. The boy glanced from her face to the can in shock.

"H-How did you..." He stuttered. "Are you a...a meteor freak?"

Alrighty. That was new. The Oldest Halliwell sister had enjoyed the look on his face while it had lasted, yet now it was fading to a mix of wariness, uncertainty, and dread, and she couldn't figure out why.

"What do you mean, a 'meteor freak'? I'm a witch!"

He cocked an eyebrow at her and she shot a scowl at him. That was her look!

"So you're saying you...wear a pointy hat and ride around on a broomstick?" He questioned dubiously.

"Stereotypes." She muttered venomously. "No, look here – I'll do a spell."

Confronting him on the hope that he'd be able to help her was fast becoming a worse and worse idea. If he wasn't straight out denying the magic in front of his eyes, he was generally just being unhelpful. But she was in this far, right? Might as well prove it and see if she could get an admission out of him.

"Okay, let's see..." She swept her bangs behind her ear and blew out a sigh, trying to think. Though Phoebe had had the most luck getting spells to work on the dime, the Eldest Halliwell felt she had enough magic to make something witch-y happen.

"To help this doubter here, uh, believe,

do what he cannot...um, conceive,

give me proof that he might see,

"and...uh, summon me a..." For a second Prue blanked. What should she summon? Crap, what had she said, again? 'See'? Was that it? Oh, no, what rhymed with see?!

"A...a...a banshee!"

Prue smiled triumphantly as the street began to shimmer and the wind picked up, signs that something unexplainable was about to happen. Then frowned, realizing what she'd asked for.

"Wait, that wasn't what I mean to -"

She was cut off by a horrible, ear-piercing, makes-you-want-to-scratch-your-face-off screaming, coming from a source that hadn't quite materialized yet; a dead looking woman, otherwise known as a 'Banshee'. Lights danced around it and the wind howled almost as loud as the creature, making it seem more ominous than it was.

"Wait, wait, wait!" She called to the now ashen colored teen over the screeches and the magical winds. "I can fix this!"

"You did this? You _actually _did this? You're really a witch?!" He yelled. If nothing else good came of the situation, it seemed he wasn't denying supernatural stuff anymore. Not that Prue had ever exactly been a there's-always-an-up-side kind of gal.

"Um, yes, technically, but this wasn't what I meant to do. B-b-but I can fix it!" Quick, a spell! The rational part of her brain reasonably pointed out that her crappy on the spot spell-casting skills were why her ears were probably bleeding now. It didn't stop her from trying, though.

"Hang on a minute, I got this! We, uh, –"

"You're doing another spell! After you just brought this-this _thing _here! Are you insane?!" The teen practically exploded.

"Banshee!" She informed him. "Now shush!"

Luckily the Banshee hadn't appeared fully yet, so its screams didn't have the power it would in a few more seconds if Prue left it alone. Summoning took time, she mentally filed away for later. That was good to know.

"Come on, come on..." She mumbled to herself. If she'd thought spells were hard normally, that was nothing compared to rhyming under pressure. It was really hard!

"Well, here goes nothing.

We call the spirits, uh, to help undo,

and send this thing back,

to.." Crap! Again! What the heck rhymed with undo?! Why had she said that, nothing even rhymed with that!

Alright, from now on she was leaving the spell writing solely to Phoebe, because she couldn't seem to write one to save her life. Or a random possibly innocent, possibly witch's life.

"Tinbucktu!" She screamed on a whim.

Either the spirits had come through or fate had simply taken pity upon the poor witch; soon enough the two were left alone in the alley, banshee-less, the wind and lights slowly dying back down.

Smoothing back her windblown hair and quickly straightening out her blouse, she put on the biggest grin she could manage, seeing as she was fairly agitated at the moment, and stuck out her hand to the dark-haired teen.

"Hi!" She said. "I'm Prue. It's nice to meet you."

And she never did catch his name - after a whole five minutes of gaping and glaring disbelievingly at her, he sped off, faster than any human possibly could. But to be fair, she hadn't really given him a good experience with witches. She hoped that wouldn't come back to haunt her.

* * *

**A/N**: Poor Clark! He's never really had good experiences with witches, has he? Or magic in general, depending on your definition of 'magic'. I was writing this and then I remembered that he'd actually met witches before, in season four, so I went back and watched that episode. It has absolutely nothing to do with this chapter, but still... Fun.

Sorry again if everybody wasn't in character or anything. Prue and Clark are surprisingly hard to write, and together they made for a tough chapter. But it's here, and I have no idea what to do next.

Ideas? Requests?

As always, please follow, fave, keeping reading...and review! Thanks! Love you!


	8. CharmedxSPN: Third Times The Charm

Yes, another one. This is quickly becoming just a bunch of ChxSPN drabbles. But this just happened! Again! I swear, I didn't even mean to write this. I was just thinking about their respective angels, and how they barely ever got any thanks... so what if they complained about it together?

Charmed season - They're in the bar beyond time. Yep.

Character(s) - Leo

Supernatural season - Definitely in the bar outside of time, because this would make no sense whatsoever if they weren't.

Character(s) - Castiel

**Disclaimer - ...You know the drill by now.  
**

* * *

**CharmedxSPN** - Third times the charm

"...All day, all the time, it's always, 'Leo! Leo! Come heal this, Leo, go check out this demon, Leo. Leo, Leo, _Leo!_'"

"My charges, too, seem to think I have nothing better to do than wait for their call." The Angel of Thursday said to the man next to him, his voice as gruff as ever. He glanced curiously at the contents of the bottle in his hand and sniffed it.

Unlike Castiel, Leo had no hesitations at all and took a rather sizable gulp from his bottle, slamming in back onto the bar and letting out a satisfied "Ah!" before continuing his rant.

"You know, I've probably saved all of their lives a hundred times by now. And what do I get as thanks?" He exclaimed, and Castiel concluded that since he didn't pause long enough for an answer, it was a hypothetical question. The angel peered even closer at the liquid as the man spoke, still unable to determine what it was.

"You know what I get? I get blown up, that's what I get. All the freaking time."  
"That sounds unpleasant." Castiel commented, now almost entranced by the sloshy, slightly sweet-smelling yet undefinable substance in the bottle in his hands.

"It is!" He agreed. "And you'd think that my _wife _would be on my side about this, but no, _she's _the one blowing me up! I swear, I think she actually enjoys it."

To accentuate his point, he titled the bottle up and slurped the stuff again. Castiel frowned, finally raising his nose from the bottle, and looked at the man.

"I too, have been blown up because of my charges." He put it, thinking of Lucifer and the field. "I've rebelled against Heaven, killed my own brothers, lost the majority of my power, and even became human for them."

Though this list was particularly dark, Leo set down his drink carefully and beamed at him.

"Me, too! All that, I've done for the sisters. Except for the 'killed my brothers' part." He added, oddly not alarmed by that.

Deciding that even if it was poison he would probably still survive seeing as he was an angel of the Lord, Castiel took a small sip of the drink, all the while eying it suspiciously. It was sweet, he thought as he swallowed it.

Beside him, Leo let out a big, gusty sigh.

"Charges are a lot more trouble than they're worth, I think." He muttered.

Castiel nodded, still considering the taste.

"'Specially the sisters."

Cas nodded again, smacking his lips.

"Hey, whose charges do you think are worse? Mine or yours?"

The angel almost nodded a third time before he realized that movement of the head would not be an acceptable answer in this instance. As always, he preferred to be silent and think before putting thoughtless words out there, and pondered it for a moment.

"Well," He eventually replied. Leo blinked patiently. Cas took another sip, then continued. "No matter how difficult your 'Charmed Ones' sound like, I have a difficult time imagining them worse than the Winchesters."

The blond man shook his head with a smile, confusing Castiel by both giving a negative response and showing a positive emotion.

"The sisters have all died on me. At _least _twice." He grinned.

If angels didn't have absolutely zero uses for blinking, Castiel would have.

"I currently have a bet going with their friend, Bobby Singer, on how long the Winchesters can manage to stay alive for. It's just a shame I have no need for mortal money." He mused. "Apparently, I've made fourteen hundred dollars in the last three months."

A low whistle of awe sounded from next to him. The angel glanced up to see amusement dancing in Leo's eyes and a little bit of...competitiveness? Although, there was no ill will or slyness, or anything like on the man's face – there never was. He was a whitelighter, an 'angel', after all.

"You know, my wife thinks I'm 'checking in with the Elders' right now."

Raising his eyebrows, Castiel felt the corners of his mouth twitching up, too. He chose to drink his bottle instead of saying anything to that.

"She'd probably kill me if she knew what I was really doing."

Why was the bottle more than half empty already, Castiel wondered, even as he drank some more. It didn't seem to be in his capabilities to simply set it down and leave it there.

"She does not approve of fellow angels sitting together making small talk and drinking unknown substances?" He wondered aloud.

The blond man snorted in his drink, something Cas knew Dean would have found funny. Try as he might, he could not seem to grasp human 'humor', and only stared on in puzzlement.

"This isn't alcohol, Castiel." He said, clearly trying not to burst out laughing. "Angels don't drink."  
"I'm aware of that." The angel answered. His tone was almost defensive – if Castiel could have a tone other than gruff and stoic, that was.

"It's tea."

Ah, so that was what the delicious, sweet, soothing, yet earthy drink was in his hands.

"Yes, this 'tea' is most satisfying." Castiel (nearly) smiled. Suddenly Leo's hand clapped down on his shoulder in what Cas recognized as an intimate gesture used only towards friends – a gesture Dean, too, was fond of, however clueless the angel was to why that was necessary – and his sort-of friend smiled in appreciation at him.

"You are a great angel, Cas. Thanks for listening to me complain."

"Yes. I can sympathize." He replied. This time Leo did break into a fit of laughs.

"Yeah. Good luck with the Winchesters – I'd rather take the Charmed Ones over those boys _any_ day."

"No," Castiel disagreed. "Despite being quite dysfunctional and often times suicidal, they usually do not attempt to find a 'normal life' or go seeking 'boyfriends' during hunts, unlike your Charmed Ones."

Now Leo could only clutch his side, tears appearing in his eyes as he giggled himself silly. The Stoic angel of Thursday felt a smile inch its way up his face, almost without his permission, and wondered what his laugh (when not laughing sarcastically) would sound like.

"That is so true. So true..."

They both stopped and listened as the familiar sound of bells echoed across the bar, no one else bothered by the noise at all.

"That'll be my charges." Leo said, reluctantly standing up.

"I, too, should make sure Dean and Sam haven't gotten themselves killed yet."

Leo snorted, saying, "Good luck with that." And he orbed out, leaving his bottle behind. Cas hesitated at first, making sure Leo was not coming back, and then grabbed both the other man's bottle and his own. Tea was strangely addicting, Cas thought. Then he left with a sigh, feeling a familiar pounding in his head that ought to be a headache if he was a human. He wondered what the Winchesters could possibly want of him next.

* * *

**A/N**: Yay! Leo/Cas friendship fluffyness! I dunno if they'd actually get along, considering Cas sometimes does awful things for the greater good, and Leo will barely kill a fly. Unless it's Gideon and he killed Leo's son, which in that case you better prepare to be dead.

Cas would be all like, "I have to do this, Leo!"

And Leo would be like, "No, you don't, Cas! We can find another way!" So maybe theirs isn't a apocalypse-surviving friendship. Then again, not many are. Would _your _friendship survive the apocalypse?

Yes, I've had way too much sugar - but cookies are delicious. Please review and stuff, and request new shows cause I'm thinking maybe Harry Potter next, but I dunno.

Bye! (hands you a cookie for reading this long author's note ^^)


	9. Charmed meets Yu Gi Oh!

Where did _this _monstrosity come from?! I swear, the two shows have almost nothing in common. And this isn't even a good, proper one-shot, either. This is just some weird...barely even 1,000 words mutant thing. Enjoy...?...if you can.

Charmed season - 4 onwards

Character(s) - Piper-san (^^)

Yugioh season...? I haven't watched this show in years. No clue.

Character(s) - Mokuba, Seto Kaiba, and Yugi

**Disclaimer - Neither Yu Gi Oh! nor Charmed belongs to my person**

* * *

**Charmed Meets...Yu Gi Oh!?**

Piper had gone to the store to pick up the groceries – not because she'd wanted to, or because she was some super-mom who loved being a mom all the time, no, but because she'd been fed-up with moldy food – and the moment she'd entered the grocery store she'd found herself on a street. With shops. Whose names were in complete gibberish to her. And Asian people were surrounding her on all sides, and there were absolutely no grocery stores in sight. Clearly, she'd gone _somewhere._ Um, but...where?

"Excuse me, can you help me?" She asked a tall, grey-eyed man on the street. A small boy was peeking out behind the man's large, intimidating coat and grinning at her.

But the man just stared.

"Eigo wa wakarimasen." He said finally.

The boy behind him glanced up disbelievingly. _Is the trench coat guy lying? _Piper wondered._ Does he just not want to talk to me?_

"Demo, Seto-kun.." The little boy began.

"Urusai, Mokuba." 'Seto-kun' snapped back. They started to glare intensely at each other like their lives depended on it.

"Rrright. Okay." She said, looking from one to the other. "That's fine. Sorry to bother you – I just wanted to know where I was. Am."

With a final look at the two – probably brothers, she guessed, seeing as how easily they were annoying each other – Piper continued on her search to discover her whereabouts. Perhaps she should try someone else?

So the oldest Halliwell strolled down the street and scanned the crowd for someone who _wasn't _madly rushing around as though they had very important stuff to do. Oh, there was someone! He was just casually jaunting down the sidewalk and even whistling, not a care in the world. That would work.  
"Excuse me," She put her hand on the shoulder of a boy in a school uniform and was left breathless when he turned around and showed her the _craziest _hairstyle she had ever seen in her life. It was red, it was yellow, it was black – and all of it was sticking up in random directions! It was insane!

_It's rude to stare, Piper! _She reminded herself, consciously closing her mouth shut with a snap.

"Um...uh...um..." What was her question again? Oh, right! Where was she? "E-e-excuse me, I was just wondering if you, uh, could tell me, um, where I am? I seem to be...sort of...lost..." She trailed off, unable to stop staring at the monstrous hair-do. It was almost hypnotizing. How on earth had it gotten that way? Had an artist accidentally dropped three different pain colors on his head? Did the boy suffer a terrible fright one day and his hair had refused to lie down since?

Luckily, the boy either didn't notice her ogling or got this sort of response often enough, because he didn't seem to take any offense at all.  
"Oh, of course!" He exclaimed cheerfully. "This is 4th street in Do-mi-no city." The schoolboy pronounced it slowly and strangely, and even stranger, it began to dawn on Piper that this language sounded sort of like...Korean? No, Japanese! That was it! It was Japanese!

"You mean...Japan?" She heard herself say faintly.

"Hai! Er, yes." He smiled as he rubbed the back of his neck. Then suddenly frowned; perhaps she'd turned as shaky as she felt. "Are you feeling o-kay, miss? You don't look well."  
"Fine." She cleared her throat and somehow managed to make it back to reality, even though her mind was still reeling from unexpectedly finding itself _half way across the world_. "I'm fine, thank you..."

And of course she'd forgotten to ask what his name was. Was she the rude American or what?

"Ah, Muto, Yugi, miss." He supplied with a grin and a short bow. Piper felt sort of like she ought to bow back, even though this wasn't her culture and she had no idea what the rules were. Was she even supposed to?

"Well, thank you, Muto."_ Is that his first name or his last name? _She wondered. _Isn't Japanese all backwards? Should I introduce myself backwards? _

"I'm Piper." She finally settled on. Yep, she was gonna be the ignorant, rude American. "Thanks for the help. Ah also," He'd made a move to grin and leave. "Could you direct me to the nearest pay phone?"

It was as though this question had made the boy's day; he practically beamed at her, apparently _thrilled _that he could help a very lost, possibly crazy American woman. Did he do that often? She had no idea.  
"Ah, I would be happy to help, Pipa-san! There is one a few blocks from here, next to a sushi restaurant. You simply go down that street there and turn right..."

And so that was how Paige came to find Piper in a phone-booth in Japan, telling stories of some big card game 'duel' thing that had gone on, with lives at stake and something about powerful puzzles and crazy hair. Paige hadn't believed her, really – but then again, it _was _Japan. Anything could happen.

* * *

**A/N**: Don't ask. Seriously. This is what happens when I stay up late and eat an insane amount of pizza and chocolate. As I've said many times before, this _is _kinda a crack fic, therefore I am allowed, and sometimes expected, to write stuff like this that makes no sense whatsoever.

Also, please excuse my (kinda) awful Japanese, which basically means this;

I don't speak English. (Seto is lying cause he doesn't want to talk to her)

But, Seto... (Mokuba knows his brother knows English)

Shut up, Mokuba! (Seto is annoyed. All is well in the world)

Thanks for reading! Thanks for reviewing! Please keep on doing both. :)  
I'm working on possibly doing a Hpxover next, or maybe another Doctor Who one. Or the Sabrina one that a reviewer actually asked for like...a month ago. Whoops. **Review and tell me what you want next!** :D


	10. Charmed meets Harry Potter

Thanks for reading and reviewing, guys!

This one was inevitable. :) Sorry if anyone is OOC or there is grammar mistakes. Yeah, and there's no actual Harry Potter in this one, though I'm really thinking about doing another one of these with our favorite trio. What do you think?

Warning: Crack! And nonsensicalness!

Charmed season - er, all different for each of the characters. Goes from 3 all the way to 7...and beyond!

Character(s) - Piper, Prue, Phoebe, Paige, Chris, and Wyatt

Harry Potter book/movie - This is irrelevant

Character(s) - Hogwarts, Sorting Hat, Professor McGonagall

**Disclaimer - I definitely don't own Harry Potter - just all the books - and in no way do I own Charmed**

* * *

**Charmed meets Harry Potter (sorta...um...not really)**

"Hmm. Let's see now." It said the same time she thought,

_I'm a grown woman stuck in a Harry Potter book with the Sorting Hat on my head. What has my life become?_

And it laughed at her! It did! It was the same dark, derogatory, irritating chuckle she had imagined it to be when she'd read the books.

_Can we get on with this?_ She thought, glaring up at it – an action that was surprisingly hard to do to

something on your head.

"Yes, yes. Of course." It assured her, though it took the liberty of a few more snickers, probably to further annoy her.

"Now – ooh, you are extremely loyal. A family woman through and through. Ah, and not short on courage at all, are you? You're so very brave – would go to the ends of the world and back for those you love. You would do well in Gryffindor, very well, indeed. You certainly have the temper for it! Hahaha!"

_What, I'm not smart?_ She protested. It had taken a bit to ignore the comment about her temper, but no mention of her brains? No, she couldn't let _that _one go. Still, it surprised her by answering in a shockingly gentle tone.

"You, Piper Halliwell, are beyond smart; you are delightfully intelligent with a creative and quick-thinking mind, good with plans..."

She began to beam. Then it continued:

"...but only when forced to really consider the situation. But for all your bravo and your wit...You prefer staying home, taking care of your family and guarding what's yours. Loyal to the bone, you are. Hard working, too. Yes, you would do well in...

"Hufflepuff!"

Piper slid off the stool in a bit of a daze, Professor. McGonagall snatching off the hat as the Charmed One made her way towards the yellow and black table. It was filled with children and teens, but they clapped loud and welcomed her as though she didn't stand out as the only thirty-year-old-woman there. She gave them all a nervous grin – truthfully, she'd always liked this particular house. It excited her that she'd been put in it. It felt right...somehow.

"Halliwell, Prue!"

As the big, powerful, confident sister she was, the black-haired woman strode up to the stool as if it was something she did everyday, and having every eye in the room on her was absolutely nothing. McGonagall placed the item on her head gently. As it turned out, the hat took its time with her, as well.

"Yes, Prudence Halliwell. A powerful, cunning witch if there ever was one." It murmured in her ear. She sat there patiently, arms crossed over her chest, and grinned at the crowd.

"Why thank you." She told it cheerfully.

"You fear nothing...so much courage, so much determination...almost to the point of recklessness. And yet you are brilliant, too. Where to put you...where..."

Prue shrugged, though if the hat was surprised that she didn't care where she went, it didn't show it. It didn't even claim she was lying.

"I'm only here because I lost a bet." She informed it. "Put me wherever the hell you want to."

"Well then. If that's the case, Prudence Halliwell...

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Brushing an imaginary dust speck off her blouse, she handed the hat back to the Professor McGonagall and pranced to the roaring (see the pun, there?) red and gold table. A triumphant smile graced her lips. Several fellow Gryffindors gave her high fives, and enthusiastic thumbs up.

With a frown, Professor McGonagall straightened her glasses and squinted at her floor-length paper, and squinted, and looked and looked.

"I'm sorry," She announced after a great deal of looking. "It appears there was a small mistake." Though she did _not _say that _she _had made the small mistake. Because she wouldn't. She couldn't.

"Halliwell, _Phoebe_!" She called out, looking rather flushed. It was only a small alphabetical error, or rather, a small spell – Phoebe hadn't actually been on there until a moment ago.

It was like a scene out of a movie, everyone watching and all;

The empath came trotting through the front door, down the hall and jumped onto the seat, completely out-of-breath.

"I'm here!" She said helpfully to the woman next to her.

The teacher promptly shut her gaping mouth and shoved the hat onto Phoebe's crazy hair, nodding a little to herself. The hall began to mutter among themselves, as the hall often liked to do.

Phoebe merely grinned at the room as though she'd always wanted to do this. And maybe she had.

"Phoebe Halliwell...an odd sort, aren't you?" The hat purred in its silky voice.

The woman's smile fell a little.  
"What do you mean 'odd'?" She demanded. Realizing she was a tad too loud – the rest of the room could hear her, too – she dropped her voice to a whisper.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, you have nerve – there's no doubt of that – and loyalty, and yes, you have intelligence, however much other don't see it, but you have such great ambition! You work so hard, constantly, for the things you want – your family, your job...Finding true love."

"That's true." She admitted thoughtfully. Sometimes her goals and dreams consumed her whole life.

"You put what you want above your family, even...but only on occasion." He added as she opened her mouth to protest.

"Slytherin would be perfect for you...You are determined and cunning enough, don't you think?"  
It almost sounded like the hat was asking her for her opinion – as though it wouldn't put her somewhere she didn't want to be. That was both sweet and silly. Wasn't _he _supposed to decide? Not her? Still, she gave a nonchalant shrug.

"Well, I really just came here for fun, so...whatever. I don't care."

Without another moment's pause the hat shouted, "SLYTHERIN!"  
And this time the green and silver table screamed its appreciation as she made her way over there. No one else, it seemed, noticed or cared that three middle-aged women were being sorted. All of the other sort-ees were about eleven, twelve-ish maybe, and yet even they didn't look confused. It was probably a spell. Most likely.

A few more normal wizards were sorted, a 'Jones' and a 'Lang' among them. Then,_ again_, it happened.

For a second time, Professor McGonagall squinted at her paper again, looking very unsure.  
"Why, I could have sworn that this name wasn't here.." She cleared her throat, seeing the glances between some of her students. With a stubborn sort of stiff britishness, she raised her chin and read the name.

"Matthews, Paige!"

Almost as though she'd apparated (something impossible to do on Hogwarts grounds – read more about it in Hogwarts, A History) – the witch popped from the remaining crowd of small people and ran up. It was clear she was excited, just as Phoebe had been. Prue, from her red table, looked puzzled. Piper had her face buried in an empty golden place, a small moan emanating from her figure. Only the two children beside her heard the woman say, "Why did we all take that _stupid _bet? Are all Halliwells this stupid?"

Yet this particular half-Halliwell didn't seem to be upset or concerned with her situation.

"Oh, you are a clever one!" It complemented her. She tried to flash him her pearly whites, only she wasn't sure if the hat could see, or if it could see her face whilst it was on her head, so she ended up bitting her lip in uncertainty.

It giggled at her, which she couldn't tell if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Definitely brave, very loyal and hardworking, but oh-so-clever, you are! Quick to learn, eager for knowledge...very creative. You are very...original, Paige Matthews."  
"Does this mean I get to go in Ravenclaw?" She questioned, awe in her tone. It was her personal favorite, of course – Luna Lovegood was just plain awesome – but she hadn't ever thought of herself as smart enough for it. Not that she often thought of what school she'd be in. Or anything.

"Yes, yes, I think you would do well in...  
"RAVENCLAW!"

With a giddy skip in her step, she leaped to her feet, placed the hat in the Professor's hands, and practically danced to her new seat at the beautiful purple and bronze table. It was only when she got there and surveyed the room did she realize that one, _all _of her sister were here (even the dead one), and two, they'd all been put in different houses.

"Huh." She said, blinking.

Suddenly the whole hall of students and teachers gasped as two figures appeared in magical swirly lights. Paige, Phoebe, and Piper all freaked when they saw that the two were familiar.

Piper was the only one to run up and speak to them though – the rest were in sort of a shock. Prue still had no idea what was going on. And she was okay with it.

"Chris, Wyatt, what are you guys doing here?" Their mother asked with concern.

"Someone," Chris glared pointedly at Wyatt, who grinned sheepishly back. "Lost a bet."

Piper couldn't hold back her giggles.

"Join...the club." She struggled to say. It was just too funny!

The two brothers glanced at one another, Chris's anger not forgotten, simply put on hold, and then both of them shrugged and let it go.

"Come on.." Piper said when she finally got a hold of her laughter, beckoning them over to the Sorting Hat. "Let's get you guys sorted."

Because it was just that kind of day.

* * *

**A/N**: FYI, Chris goes into Slytherin and Wyatt into Gryffindor. Because I can. Now I know some of you don't think the houses I picked for them were the right ones, I'm sorry...I just thought hey! Four houses, four sisters! And I tried to match each one to the best of my abilities.

It was hard. Most of them could've gone lots of different ways. But these are the ones I picked so...there. I'm feeling cranky today. Meh.

The Sabrina one is almost ready, even though its not exactly groundbreaking or anything.

Yeah, but apparently, someone went around betting the Halliwells something that they couldn't do, and ended up in a Harry Potter book. Don't ask.

Requests? Suggestions? Reviews?...She said in a hopeful voice. Thanks for reading, see you guys soon!

_Also, almost done with the next chapter in Living Charmed. Yay!_


	11. Charmed meets Sabrina the Teenage Witch

To the reviewer who asked for this (twice) I give you this chapter. Now I'll admit I knew little to nothing of Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and, being the sort of author who strives to stay true to all characters, no matter the show, I looked it up. There's like two or three of them, actually - and an animated series! But I'm also quite lazy, so I simply watched what they had on YouTube. I apologize if it seems ooc for anyone. Again, this is a 67% crack story (give or take), so give me a little slack.

**Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, and fave/followed! I love you guys! Special thanks to FancyCharmed for a great, long review! Here, have a cookie!**

Charmed season - Anywhere from "Cat House" (or fith season) onwards

Charmed Character(s) - Piper, Paige, and Phoebe

Sabrina the Teenage Witch season - Nooo clue

StTW Character(s) - Salem (mentioned - Sabrina, Linen closet)

**Disclaimer - I have never owned Charmed, darn it! And I'll never own Sabrina the Teenage Witch!**

* * *

**Charmed Meets Sabrina the Teenage Witch**

Perhaps Piper ought to have been more concerned when a black cat fell from a dark and ominous hole, newly formed on her living room ceiling, and began to speak to her. In an annoyed tone, no less.

"So you're one of the legendary Charmed One's?...I've dealt with worse, I suppose." It's snarky, deep male tone reminded her of someone, she simply couldn't place it...

_I should be worried about that._ She thought, amused. Now a demon falling out of the sky would be something to leap off the couch and abandon her book for, or a warlock, or a banshee, or a vampire...but a cat? She was perfectly content, normal life cravings aside, to sit there with her book and stare at the sleek, amber-eyed animal.

"The name's Piper." She called, a smile on her lips. Aw, so she still lived with her sister (and half sister) and now she talked to cats – she had this crazy old-lady thing down pat.

"Salem." It – probably more of a 'he' – responded, his tone arrogant.

This was too good, the cat was just too cute and fluffy and –

"Paige! Phoebe! Get in here!" She called, not taking her eyes off of the animal. This had to be the funniest supernatural creature she'd encountered yet.

"Look, we don't have time for this." He snapped. The cat then proceeded to leap on onto her side table and begin to stare her down – like the fifteen pound furbag was gonna make her do anything besides burst into a tirade of "Awwww!"s.

"The universe is in grave danger," He began severely, although it was fairly hard for Piper to take a talking kitty-cat seriously.

Still, she stopped snickering when his the meaning of his words sunk it. The universe? In grave danger?

"What do ya mean?" She demanded. Luckily for the Halliwell, it was much easier for her to look intimidating; all she had to do was stand up, and she towered above him. And yet the cat had the last laugh. He was really snarky.

"You don't _know_? Really? Hah! I've thought it was really obvious."

"What's really obvious?" Asked Paige as she strolled in, probably on a whim rather than any response to Piper's call, evidenced by her unhurried footsteps and casual, almost uncaring tone. Piper mentally scowled, because, what if it had been a demon? Ugh. Sisters.

The footsteps stopped when she saw the mammal – the gasp started when the mammal opened his mouth and proceeded to speak fluent, disappointed English.

"And I was so counting on you to save us all." The cat let out a sigh (Piper and Paige exchanged raised eyebrows. They hadn't known felines could do that!) and rubbed a paw over his eyes like he was weary of their ignorance, or something. It was a true testimony to Paige's adaptability that the woman didn't ask a load of questions about the cat, and aside from the small gasp and widening of her eyes, she didn't really even act surprised. It was much appreciated.

"Come on, people, think. Anything odd, out-of-the-ordinary, unusual happen lately?"

Piper opened her mouth to say she hadn't lost her temper in a while (plenty weird, right?) then thought better of it. Probably not the answer he was looking for.

"Big, gaping holes, swirling vortexes into other dimensions, people!" He exclaimed after three seconds of letting them think. And really, it _was_ fairly obvious.

_Oh. That._ Piper thought, feeling a little dumb.

"They've been popping up everywhere, leading _anywhere_, and sometimes even closing with someone stuck on the wrong side. This is very, very bad. And this is coming from someone tried to take over the world." He added, much to the girls displeasure.

"Wait a minute," Paige interrupted. "Are you an _evil_ black cat?" She shot him an accusatory glare.

"Hey! I'm not a cat!" He protested. There was no indignation at the implication of him being 'bad', though. Hm...

The half sisters looked first to each other, and back to the feline with disbelief written all over their features.

"Oh yeah?" Challenged Piper. Quickly he jumped back in, amending his earlier statement in an annoyed grumble.

"Okay, I'm a cat, but only because I um, _may_ have tried world domination. A little. So they cursed me to no magic, and life as a cat for a hundred years. Doesn't seem fair, does it?"

_So he'd been a witch, too? _The oldest Halliwell sister filed that away for future use.

"I mean, when you really think about it, it wasn't a fair trial at all! The wizard council was completely biased, you know – all of them hated my guts, I'm sure of it and when –"

"Salem..." She broke in. Wasn't there a universe to save? Hadn't he _just_ stressed it's clear importance?

"Salem? Salem who?" Paige asked, confused.

Piper pointed to the animal on her table.

"Him, who. He's Salem."

"Oh! I get it, that's funny...Salem like that place...hah! That's ironic!"

"Really? I had no idea!" The cat replied sarcastically. Just as Piper was about to face-palm and sigh at the life she now lived, suddenly her middle sister's voice broke in with a apathetic, "Who has no idea about what?"

Phoebe strode in quickly, face practically buried in her purse as she scurried through the conservatory and past the cat. This was not strictly unusual, but Piper still felt compelled to ask. Big sister and all that.

"Where are you going, Pheebs?" She asked – and in a flabbergasted tone, too, talking cars be darned – because she'd just realized that her sister was dressed in a nice (cough _respectable _cough) blue blouse and belt, and a long, long black pencil skirt with tall heels and lots and lots makeup.

A second realization quickly followed. It was very illuminating.

"It's Saturday, you not going to work–" She gasped. "– Are you dressed like that...for a _date_?"

There was a bit of an awkward silence. At least it wasn't broken by the _cat_, of all people.

"Maybe." Phoebe finally said, albeit defensively. The eldest wasn't even sure why the empath bothered; the sisters always saw through each other like they were a thin glass.

"Who are you going out with, an office supply salesmen?" Paige snipped. The empath gave both her sisters the look – the look that said I-am-totally-mature-and-have-always-been-and-its-y ou-who-are-the-idiots-not-me. No one ever believed that look.

"Paige, that's not funny."

"Yeah – _I'm_ not laughing." Salem broke in.

Instantly, the brunette shot straight up in the air and raised her legs to kick the mysterious voice, forgetting that she was in a tight pencil skirt at the moment.

"Who said that? Who's there?" She demanded, eyes jumping frantically to find the threat. To be fair, it _could've _been a demon.

"Chill, sis. Salem, Phoebe. Phoebe, Salem; the talking cat. He's here to tell us about giant swirling vortexes of doom or whatever."

"Or trying to, anyway." He grumbled. Startled, Phoebe lost a foot in the air.

"Woah, there's a cat – a-and he just – h-he can – did he – oh, no _way_, he shouldn't –"

"You dropped your purse, Pheebs." Paige informed her.

"Ah, dang it!"

"So as you were saying," The redhead gestured for him to continue. With a smile of appreciation at her littlest sister for stopping the slightly older one's torrent of half-sentences, Piper nodded, saying she was listening.

Sighing (witches were horrible at staying on-topic in any universe, it seemed), the cat wrapped his tail around himself and shifted to laying on his stomach, paws tucked underneath him adorably. The three sisters 'awwed' in unison; even Phoebe from her spot on the floor retrieving her purse items.

"Women.." The cat muttered darkly, before continuing. It was lucky for him that they hadn't caught that, or he would've been a very, very dead kitty.

"As I was saying before you interrupted, _again_, the vortexes are becoming a bit of a problem. Showing up everywhere, and closing without warning. See, you shouldn't even exist! Not in our world, at least. Not to us. But here we are, talking. Not even the Witches Council – you know, the people that turned me into a cat – know what's going on."

A moment of silence reined. Then, Paige just sort of...shrugged.

"So?"

Both of her sisters glanced at her in bewilderment. Phoebe stood up from the floor to place her hands on her hips and glare.

"So..." Prompted Salem. "It's bad."

"Yeah, but why come to us? Don't you have anyone in your world that could take care of this? Can't you just go to the...Witches Council or whatever? Surely you have _someone _like the Charmed Ones in your world."

The cat gave them both a very impressive condescending look – impressive since he didn't even have eyebrows.

"You know the portal I came through to get here?"

The three glanced up at the swirly darkness dancing on the ceiling (Phoebe and Paige let out a small gasp in unison, having been too preoccupied with the talking cat to see it) before all nodding in unison.

"Well...its kind of in front of the linen closet. Er, the portal to the Council and whatever help we might get."

In concern, Piper looked to her not-quite-littlest sister and found that the woman was edging out of the room with a confused sort of 'that's just too bad for you' smile on her face. Unbidden, the older woman's spirits sank.

"Oh, no, Pheebs..."  
"Sorry guys, but linen closets? Vortexes? Talking cats? I-I have a date!" She argued.

"No, Pheebs, come on, this is important, like _the whole universe might go into chaos _important! Dates do _not _triumph that!"

"It's a _talking cat_, Piper. Maybe it lied?" It was a flimsy excuse and they both knew it.

"No. No, you can't. No. Freaking. _Way. _PHOEBE ALYSSA HALLIWELL(1)! NO!"  
And yet the empath was already making her retreat out of the parlor and down the hall. Before Piper heard the front door shut, her sister yelled back,

"I'm sure you guys can handle it!"

It wasn't very reassuring.

With a massive sigh that was more like a irritated breath closer to losing her temper, Piper rubbed her temples as she turned back to the odd pair she was left with. She found Paige giving the black cat a small poke and then recoiling as he hissed at her.

"Always was more of a dog person..." The pale (Now brunette. But how long would that last?) witch muttered.

Piper rolled her eyes, resisting the great urge to moan and simply return to her book.  
"Don't let one black cat spoil them all. Kit was amazing, if you recall."

Paige, apparently, did _not _recall, or at least pretended not to.

"Just...don't let her poke me anymore!" Salem whined. "I'm not a stuffed animal(2)!"

The two witches burst into giggles at his pathetic yet really, really adorable expression, their amusement only increasing when he looked offended.

"Aha...ha...ahem..." Piper wiped the tears from her eyes, careful of her mascara, and smiled down at the thing. "Alright, so you wanted us to close these things?"

"If you're quite done laughing." He replied miserably. Aw, poor little guy!

"No, no! We are!"

"I'll get a paper and pen." Piper volunteered.

"And I'll start looking through the book. When we find something we can snatch Phoebe from her date."

"Great! Now if you excuse me, it's time for my tuna." The cat said with a cat-like (forgive the pun) grin, jumping to his feet and stretching. Then he began to trot over to the portal, and the Charmed Two frowned. It wasn't quite what they'd been expecting.

"Wait!" Piper protested. "Wait, Salem! Where are you going?"

"Well, the portal could close at any time." The sarcastic animal pointed out, before yawning widely. "And you guys seem to have a hard time staying focused...so if you really are going to help, then my job here is done. But I don't want to stick around to find out the results. As much fun as you guys are,"

This time the mocking was very clear in his tone; Piper rolled her eyes.

"I prefer my love-sick teen witch. At least _she _doesn't make fun of me...most of the time."

"Well," Though Leo's wife was reluctant to let the cat go, she couldn't seem to find a suitable reason for him to stay, either. He was just...so much fun!

Finally, she let out a deep breath.

"Okay. Fine. Go have your tuna. If the portal closes then...it was nice meeting you, Salem." The cat winked back at her, which she took to mean that he didn't completely hate them.

Abruptly Paige grinned,

"Um, Salem, do you think you can get up there by yourself? It's awfully high for such a little kitty."

With a single glare, the witch-lighter bounded over to pick him up, though she was very gentle.

"I could throw you." She suggested. His eyes went wide and the hair on the back of his neck went up for a second. They waited patiently.

"Very well. For...for tuna." The cat looked as though he was going into a battle he knew he would not survive.

It was hard not to dissolve into chortles at the sight;

Paige bellowing, "FORTUNA!" as she chucked a screaming black cat into the overhead vortex.

As much as Piper's life sucked some of the time, she thought it was worth it for moments like these. Moments that sent her sprawling onto the floor crying with laughter at their sheer, comical, ridiculousness.

In fact, it made her book seem positively boring in comparison. Oh, well.

* * *

**A/N:** (1) Since Phoebe didn't seem to have a middle name in-show, I just gave her her actress's first name. I hope that's alright...?

(2) Yes, you are, Salem. Or you were, at least _sometimes_ during the live action series.

Also, don't know exactly how Salem knew it was the Charmed One's that were through that portal. Maybe future Salem told him? Maybe he's psychic? Who knows.

Sorry about not updating for a while! I've been kinda stuck. Ugh. Hate writer's block. As always, reviews help, so I'd love it if you could tell me what you think!

What should I do next? Another CHxSPN? A doctor who one? (BTW, anyone excited about the finale?) Please review and tell me! Thanks!

Love you guys!

- Kokoro


	12. Charmed meets Harry Potter on Crack!

I don't even...This just happened, okay? I didn't plan on it. I just ate like, a ton of cookies, stayed up late...and this was the result. Don't expect it to make sense, okay? Seriously. No logic follows.

Also, I'm looking for a beta. For this story (often times it's late and I miss a lot of grammar mistakes, sorry) and for my other one, Living Charmed. If you'd like to beta, if you know a beta to suggest, or think you could even just help with story ideas and plot holes and such, please, please _please _PM me! Thanks a million!

Charmed Season - Nine and beyond

Character(s) - Chris and Wyatt

Harry Potter Book/Movie - Half-Blood Prince...ish?

Character(s) - Harry, Hermione, Ron, etc...

**Disclaimer - I don't even own crack...unfortunately, I do have sugar, which is just as bad in already crazy people. Tehe. *insert mad evil laugh***

_**WARNING!: No logic beyond this point!**_

* * *

**Charmed Meets Harry Potter! ...on Crack!**

"We've just _got _to find out what those new American students are up to!" Harry declared.

From her seat next to her friend in the Gryffindor common room, Hermione frowned, not glancing up from the large book in her hands.

"Harry, I'm surprised you aren't more concerned with what Draco's up to." She said.

Breaking out of his determined face and lowering the fist he'd raised dramatically, Harry blinked.

"What?"

Beside Hermione in an equally comfy armchair, his lap covered in empty scrolls (homework that he was procrastinating) Ron poked his head out and said,

"Yeah, Harry. Haven't you noticed him being all 'sneaky' and skipping classes and acting suspicious and whatnot?"

Now the Boy Who Lived just shook his head, rolling his eyes at his friends.

"Please, Ron, this is much more important." He said as though it were obvious. "Draco can wait."

Since this was a phrase that had never, ever ever passed Harry's lips, since he'd been certain that it _would _never ever pass his lips, Ron gaped at his mental best friend. Finally Hermione's eyes flew from her book to the black-haired boy.

"Um, Harry...a-are you feeling alright?" She asked.

"What? 'Course I am!"

"No, mate, you're not." Ron disagreed, shaking his head slowly in disbelief. Though Harry was shooting them both seriously annoyed looks, they didn't stop with their silly pestering.

"You're acting weird, Harry. L-like...like someone is twisting your character for the sake of a plot!"

To Ron she whispered, "Should we take him to Madam Pomfrey?"

"Oi! I heard that!" A sigh. "Guys, I'm fine. I promise."

They smiled and nodded helpfully, but it was easy to tell that they didn't believe him. Again, Harry rolled his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh.

"Alright, yeah, my parents are dead, my aunt and uncle hate me, and I watched Cedric die, and all my parental figures are destined to be killed off, and Ron's brother is gonna die," He ignored Ron's sputtering and continued on, almost cheerfully. "And eventually I'll have to let Voldemort kill me so I can stop him...but other than that, I'm completely fine! I swear!"

If they'd been shocked before, that was nothing compared to now; their eyes were as wide as saucers, and their jaws were laying on the floor.

"W-w-what... w-what was that about _dying_, Harry?"

"A-and the bit about my brother?"

Harry blinked hard as though coming out of a deep trance, sat back down, and gave them the Irritated-Look once more.

"What?"

"Y-you just said..."

"Oh, right!" He grinned, raising his fist dramatically again. "We must stop the Americans! They are evil and are polluting the school with their...American...ness...Come on, Ron! Hermione! We must go...TO THE LIBRARY!"

The two friends did a face-palm in unison. Then they slowly got up and followed their friend out of the common room and into the hall.  
"We're going to regret this, aren't we?" Ron muttered miserably to the girl beside him.

The bushy-haired girl sighed and nodded.

"I'm afraid we're stuck in a crack!fic, so yes."

* * *

Five minutes later...

"How didja know they were in the library, Harry?" Ron asked, flabbergasted.

With a simple shrug, Harry began to walk over to them.

"Well, the plot revolves around us, doesn't it? We were going to run into them sooner or later."

"What is it with you and Hermione? What's this 'plot' you keep talking about? And why –"

"Ron! Questions are for later." He chided his red-headed friend. "We wouldn't want readers to get bored, would we?"

Without waiting for a response from his best friend, he purposefully stepped in front of the two American transfer students, grinning and waving as sickingly cheerful as Colin Creevey. Unseen behind him, the Weasley blanched. What had actually happened to Harry was something Ron was beginning to think he didn't want to know.

"B-But wait! Harry, what readers? What are –"

But his protests went unheard. It wasn't new, exactly, just bothersome.

"Hello, there!" Harry said cheerfully, peering down at the two boys sitting at a table covered in books. They both looked up – though only the blond one smiled at him.

"Oh, hello!" He waved back, grinning, and Harry was suddenly struck with the image of a golden retriever. Well, at least he knew what _his _Patronus would be.

The silent one, the boy with brown hair, green eyes, and, though Harry didn't know it yet, a sarcastic attitude, nodded his head politely. When he thought the Boy Who Lived was looking away, he rolled his eyes. Other than their introduction a few weeks prior, they and Harry hadn't actually spoken before just two seconds ago; he'd been too busy spying.

Deciding to just go the front approach, he blurted out,

"I'm Harry Potter, and I was just wondering if you have any evil schemes you'd like to share with me!"

If it had been an anime Hermione would've collapsed; as if was, she turned beet red at his forwardness. That was _not _the way to be subtle. Ron began to mutter about how his life used to be fun and peaceful.

"Well, I'm Wyatt Halliwell...and evil schemes? Hmm...I don't think we've got any evil schemes going right now, do we, Chris?" He turned to the boy in the seat next to him, and with another roll of his eyes the brown-haired teen – Chris – shook his head. Because he would know. Apparently.

Wyatt turned back to face Harry and shrugged helplessly. With a sigh, Harry shrugged back, in a 'what can you do' sort of way, as though it were a great tragedy that they weren't cooking up any plans for him to foil. Then the puppy-boy perked up.

"Ooh, we do have a plan to hide our secret identity as Wiccan witches, keep an eye on the students, and then maybe try to take out Lord Voldemort? Right, Chris? Wasn't that the plan?"

Chris's left eye twitched.

"It _was _the plan." He replied through gritted teeth. The other American looked properly ashamed – for all of three seconds. Suddenly Chris let out a breath and relaxed, resting his head in his palms, which in turn rested on a precarious stack of magic books.  
"I suppose that plot's a bit cliché though, isn't it?" He mused. Others nodded, agreeing, and Wyatt even had the nerve to seem proud.

Unfortunately, that was the last straw – finally, Ron broke.

"Sorry, but what...in the bloody hell...DO YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT? What 'plot'?! What 'readers'?! We are _not _in a book!"

The Chosen One looked to Hermione, who looked to the Twice Blessed One (though she didn't know it), who looked to his smarter little brother, who merely laughed. None were too enthusiastic about explaining. However, Christopher Halliwell was all about taunting...and taunt he did.

"Poor Ronald Weasley," The red-head stiffened at hearing his full name. "The Powers of the Fourth Wall simply aren't with you."

"But what _is _the fourth wall?!" He demanded in frustration.

But Chris was already shaking his head, something that was actually hard to do when it was already resting in his hands.

"Sorry, Ron. Explaining it would be shatter it all to pieces and we can't have that. I've afraid we're only allowed to refer to it in passing. Hm...well, I'm sure there's a book in here," He freed a hand to gesture to the expansive library.

"On the Fourth Wall. Just for you."

"Actually, there is." Hermione interrupted. "It's called The Fourth Wall, A History, and it's on the top shelf of the third row. In the middle, next to Hogwarts, A History. They were written by the same person."

All four boys gaped at her.

"What?" She asked defensively. "It's completely in my character to know that!"

"I suppose." Chris responded, his tone doubtful.

"Aren't we supposed to go to class soon..." Ron mumbled pathetically as he trudged towards the third row, per Hermione's instructions. Though both Hermione and the author took pity on the character fandom so loved to hate (why?), neither did anything, instead watching with giggles as he kept muttering to himself like a crazy person.

"Well...what now?" The muggle-born questioned, meeting Harry's equally puzzled eyes.

"Um...I don't think the author planned this far." Chris answered. "Terrible writer, she is."

Suddenly a lightening bolt struck, in the middle of a sunny day in a _library_, and hit the table a few feet from where Chris sat. The author beamed as he shut his mouth with a snap.

"Don't anger the narrator." Wyatt advised, perhaps, a little too late.

"Yeah. I'm getting that."

The younger Halliwell crossed his arms and put his heels up on the table, preparing to sulk indefinitely from the author's attack.

"Well, I for one would like to complain about being _completely _out-of-character!" Harry spoke up, frowning at the sky.

"Yes, you were a bit cheery, weren't you?" His friend commented.

Instantly, the Chosen One whipped his head around and glared at her, making her cower under Chris's table a little. It made Chris snort and Wyatt giggle.

"What do you mean I was _cheery_? Am I not normally?!"

"Frankly, Harry...you being cheerful scares me."

"Oi!"

"W-well, its true."

Suddenly there was a loud sound of something breaking, something that made a noise like the tinkling of glass falling onto the floor. The group all jumped, glancing around in confusion for the source of it. No one was quite sure what had happened until Hermione groaned from underneath the table...

"Oh, no, I think that was Ron. And I think he just broke the Fourth Wall."

And all four opened their mouths and they screamed, as though they were in a cheesy horror film. Then the world collapsed.

* * *

**A/N**: Aww, that poor little fourth wall! Shame on Ron for breaking you!

Ron: B-but I don't even know what it is!

Kokoro: That'll do, Ron. That'll do. *pats Ron on the head condescendingly*

Ron: Oi! Not a pig, mate.

Kokoro: Shh! *didn't have a witty comback* *sticks tongue out at him instead*

Alright! So right now I'm working on yet _another _CHxSPN, which I think you all love. This one is going to be pretty serious, actually. In light of the season finale, and all, which is going to be very traumatic for all of us. Sigh. It always is.

Ideas? Requests? Comments? Concerns? I'd love to hear them!  
Please review and keep on reading! You are all beautiful, lovely, awesome people!

- Kokoro


	13. CharmedxSPN: Apocalypse Style

Attention people who expect funnies! This is a mainly serious little drabble. I mean, a couple of jokes snuck in, but I wanted to write something with feels in it...soo...

Thanks to everyone who faved/followed, reviewed, and read! Love you!

Charmed season - a little after eight

Character(s) - Piper, Phoebe, Paige, Leo

Supernatural season - Fifth, episode "Swan Song" AUish

Character(s) - Dean

**Warning!: Serious stuff follows. **

**Disclaimer - ... *Bawls tears at what I will never own***

* * *

**CHMxSPN Apocalypse style**

Piper wasn't sure what exactly she'd expected when she answered the phone at 3:38 in the morning, but it wasn't Dean's gruff, stoic voice saying,  
"It's me. We need you."

If she had been a lesser woman she might've dropped the phone or hung up immediately – but she was Piper Halliwell. She didn't run away from a fight. She didn't run, period. Even though the world was spinning and tossing in response to his sharp, piercing, apocalyptic words.

What she did do was sag against the kitchen counter and blow out a huge sigh, blinking quickly to stop her eyes from watering. Finally, when she was certain she could speak without her voice breaking, she replied,

"Okay. Alright, fine. Where?"

"Stull Cemetery. Just outside of Lawrence." His tone was so cold, so emotionless that it sounded unreal. Unfeeling. It sounded like Dean had finally broken.

Piper had to take another breath and quite a few more blinks. There was _no way _she would let the hunter hear her pain, though.

"...We can be there in an hour." She said after awhile. They didn't need an hour, Dean surely knew, since they had orbing and that could take you anywhere in seconds, but if she was going to do this...she had to say goodbye.

If he knew or cared, the hunter didn't say a thing. Not like he ever did, though.

"Fine."

Just as the woman made to hang up the phone and go upstairs to tell her husband (Oh, how was she going to tell Leo?! And her kids?), Dean's rough throat clear caught her attention.

"Um, Piper...t-thank you."

She smiled, even though her heart was breaking at his request. In that moment he seemed so like a lost little boy that, were he present, the witch was certain she would've hugged him _–_ just as tight as she hugged her own boys. Maybe he would've even let her.

"You're...family, Dean. And you know what Halliwells do for family."

A watery, sad little laugh came from the other line.

"Yeah...I do."

The noise as he hung up wasn't abrupt or rude – actually, Piper found it even a little soothing. The calming, consistent beep that would never end until she set the phone down. She breathed in very deep. She could do this. She _had _to do this.

No one, not even her, knew where she found the courage to pick the phone back up and dial both her sister's numbers, one after the other. Neither call ended in tears; Halliwell women were surprisingly steely. But when she traversed the stairs and snuck carefully into her children's rooms, she found water flowing from her cheeks.

_I should wake them. _She thought, almost-numb. They deserved a goodbye, right? ...and yet, she found she wasn't able to.

Gently, carefully, like a silent ghost in the night, Piper pressed loving kisses on each of their foreheads, and turned and walked away. Oh, she loved them _so much. _It just wasn't fair.

It felt like slivers of ice piercing her chest in every step, making it impossible to breath and futile not to cry.

What if she hadn't picked up the phone...what if she hadn't agreed...

_No_. She snapped at herself, stumbling back to her room. _No, Dean needs us. Sam needs us. If it were Phoebe or Paige you wouldn't have those thoughts – not even for a second! And they are just as much a part of our family, so _damn it_, we're gonna save them both! _

Suddenly she looked up to find someone already waiting in her room; a dressed-for-battle Phoebe and Paige. In any other situation she would've laughed at seeing those girls in chain-mail armor and gauntlets and bulletproof vests (each had a little of both), but this time she knew how little they would help, and felt nothing bubbling up in her throat but helplessness. Oh. Her gaze shifted to the bed and found that Leo was awake too, waiting, looking up at her with grim yet determined green eyes.

Oh, Piper had always adored his eyes. Loved them. _Loved _them. So beautiful. Chris was going to have the same color some day, too. Would she ever see them now...

"I'm sorry." She whispered to him. He wasn't going to come, wasn't going to fight because he was a pacifist, a father...he was too good to die. She suddenly couldn't move. It was some powerful force was stopping her from moving from her spot at the doorway, as though she knew her squeezed heart would burst if she took another step.

But they were her family; they already knew that, and all at once they ran to her and wrapped their arms around her. Paige, Phoebe, Leo...she clutched them so tight it probably hurt. No one pulled away.

Finally, the hug dispersed and everyone had on their battle-faces again. Piper and Leo shared one last – all too brief – beautiful, warm, passionate kiss, and if she'd had a genie with her she would've wished that this moment would never end. It did, of course. Just as their lives as witches/semi-normal people were about to end.

Suddenly Piper nodded at Paige, saying, in the same gruff, stoic, broken tone as Dean,

"Let's do this."

* * *

_" – Yes, there will be pie, Dean. Have I ever let you down before? No, wait, don't answer that."  
_

_A pause. _

_"What, Bobby? The drunk? ...Yeah, he can come too. Just...make sure he doesn't drink in front of Wyatt, okay?"_

_There was a loud laugh on the other end, which sent Piper into a dangerous scowl. _

_"Well, you'd be surprised at how much attention that baby pays." She snapped back. _

_From her seat next to Piper on the kitchen counter, Paige snagged another hot cookie off of the plate. Her sister didn't notice __–_ yes! Victory!

_"Is Sam comin', too?" The witch-lighter asked through the cookie, which was hotter than expected._

_The older woman turned the phone away from her mouth, and, spotting the chocolate on Paige's face, she practically growled._

_"Stop eating the cookies, Paige!" She hissed. "They are not! For! You!" The Charmed One punctuated each word with a slap at her sister's eager hands._

_Clutching her stinging hand and mourning the loss of a fourth dessert, Paige was forced to resort to the most basic of sibling tactics; she stuck her tongue out at her big sister. _

_Of course, this was ignored. _

_"What?" Piper asked, turning the phone back to her mouth, but not before shooting Paige one last threatening look. Suddenly the cook stiffened and pressed the device closer to her ear. Something was wrong, Paige realized. _

_"...I'm sorry, Dean. I didn't know."_

_"What is it?" Paige demanded, leaping off the counter. "What's wrong?" _

_"...Yes, of course. _Of course_ we'll help, and _of course_ you can still come. In fact... now you _have _to come. If you don't get in that old car of yours and drive your butt down here I will curse you, you hear?"_

_Getting frustrated, Paige began to tug on Piper's arm. She truly felt like a little sister._

_ Again, Piper ignored her and stepped a few feet away._

_"Yeah. Ummhmm. What? Sam is going crazy...? Well, of course, Dean! He's your brother! Did you think he was going to just let you die for him?!"_

_A pause. Now the littlest Halliwell sister was turning red, unable to fully contain her curiosity and her worry. She began to poke the bear. In retrospect, not her smartest idea. _

_Yet it turned out alright – the woman shhed her and glared and gestured pointedly towards the (once forbidden) plate of cookies, and the offer was clear: take the things and shut up. That didn't deter Paige from her pestering, although she did grab another. _

_But the phone call appeared to be finishing. _

_"Shut up, Dean. You're family now, remember? ...Yeah. Um-hm. ...Happy Thanksgiving."_

_The instant the phone was set back in the charger, Piper found herself bombarded with cookie-crumbs and questions, wishing, not for the first time, that she could freeze her sister. _

_"What did he say? What's going on? What was that about Dean dying? And Sam going crazy? What 'of course' are we going to do? Are we going to help? And are they –"_

_"Paige! No more sugar!" Piper scowled, yanking the half cookie in Paige's hands away from her. Several contemplations later, it ended up in her mouth. _

_"Now, shh!" _

_The woman complied, crossing her arms and hopping back onto the counter. _

_"Something did happen, Paige." Piper's voice softened. "B-but it's okay. Cause we're gonna fix it. We're gonna fix it..."_

* * *

It took a second to realize what felt wrong about the orb; it was instantaneous. She didn't want that. Piper wanted a nice, long car ride where she could muse upon her and her sisters likely demise, have a little angst, stare out the window, and just generally appreciate life once last time. She wanted to have a small, quiet calm before the storm. Even though it would've been solemn, though her sisters pathetic attempts at conversation would've only ended in snapping and tearful 'I love you's, Piper ached for a tiny second of peace.

But they orbed, and before Piper could even blink they were there. Stull Cemetery, Lawerence, Kansas. It wasn't too bad, as cemeteries went. Nice open field, pretty scenery in the crumbling tombstones, few trees...but it was still a cemetery. A place of death.

It seemed fitting enough for what was about to take place.

Now, as the three women took out their weapons, scanned the empty field, and began rolling out their shoulders for the fight, Piper only had time for one breath. One deep, beautiful, silent, peaceful breath. Though they knew not the circumstances how it had happened, they knew the outcome; they knew exactly what they were there to do.

"Whatever happens...I love you." Piper whispered, unable to make eye contact with them. If she did she was certain she would cry. "And...I'm glad...be to a witch. Even if it all led here."

With equal, unshed tears shinning in their eyes, Paige squeezed her arm and Phoebe placed a hand on her back.

"We know, sweetie."

Piper breathed out. It was okay. It was all going to be okay. Really. Because if she had her sisters by her side, there was _nothing _they couldn't do.

"Okay..." She muttered, mainly to herself. "Time to save our family..."

* * *

_"Sam." _

_"Mmm.." He replied, not listening. They were in their usual trashy motel, Dean pacing the room while his brother was curled up on the bed with his laptop. _

_"That was Piper that just called."_

_"Mmm..." He agreed. _

_"She wants us to come over. For, like, Christmas dinner."_

_"..mmm.." _

_"Sam! _Piper Halliwell_ called! And she invited us over like we're friends, or something."_

_Finally, some of the words managed to break through to the exhausted brain of Sam Winchester. He half-heartedly lifted an eyelid. _

_"What? Piper? The good witch?" _

_"Yeah." His brother scoffed. "The frigging Charmed One." _

_For a moment Sam just propped his head up from the bed on his hands, musing, considering. Then he smiled._

_"Why not?"_

_Dean practically exploded._

_"Why not?! Sammy, she's a witch! A good witch, maybe, but still! We should not be eating Christmas dinner with a supernatural being!" _

_"Dean, the Charmed Ones are famous in the magical community for being the paragon of all good. They kill just as many demons as we do. So... your point is invalid." The man smirked, a little too proud about the fact that, even after no sleep for two days and an epic chase and fight, 'invalid' was still in his vocabulary. He wasn't even sure that it was in Dean's normally._

_"Shut up." He snapped back. After a moment, he added in a mutter, "'Sides, she lives in San Fransisco. And doesn't even like hunters or anything." _

_Sam let out a 'pssh' and collapsed on the bed again._

_"Somtimes _I_ don't even like hunters." Was his muffed response._

_"Shut up, sleeping beauty."_

_"Kay..." And soon a soft snore emerged from the younger brother, who had indeed fallen asleep on his stomach, with his hands wrapped protectively around his laptop. It was pretty cute._

_The older brother kicked at an imaginary pebble._

_"Well...it's not like we have other plans..." He mumbled. "...and she _is_ supposed to be a good cook." _

_The man plopped down on the other bed, staring unseeingly at the dirty ceiling. He didn't bother with his shoes or his clothes; he was weary, and the bed was...er, pretty comfortable._

_Suddenly he grinned, a rather beautiful thought occurring to him._

_"She'll probably have pie." He smiled, that pretty much settled. And if that wasn't good enough, Dean wasn't sure what was._

* * *

It wasn't a huge surprise went two male figures appeared from nowhere, one right after the other, both facing each other with a mix of sadness and determination.

Before the tall one opened his mouth and confirmed it, Piper knew that they were brothers. It was in the way they looked at one another; the familiarity...the hatred. Somehow, despite knowing who now inhabited Sam's body, the Charmed One couldn't help but pity how the sibling's relationship had turned out. She couldn't help herself. She'd seen firsthand as Phoebe and Prue's blood bond crumbled under silly, inconsequential things. Reasons never really mattered – they were always silly. Always, because they were _family. _And family didn't give up on the other, not ever.

Yet just like Prue and Phoebe, the two in front of her were prepared for a huge fight. They didn't even notice the three most powerful witches in the world standing by and watching. Well, maybe they did. Perhaps they just didn't care.

Piper glanced sidelong at both her sisters, judging their reaction to seeing their once-friend this way. They had all known about this beforehand. That didn't mean it wouldn't hurt.

Phoebe was putting on her gameface, so hard and cold it didn't look like Phoebe at all; Paige was turning paler than ever, but the set line of her mouth promised that she would see this through. No matter the cost.

_No matter the cost. _Piper repeated hollowly. That sounded like it wasn't worth it, and it was. ...Right?

_"Sam, you grow any taller and we're gonna have to turn you into a leprechaun just so I can hug you properly."_

All those years ago...

_"Hey! We need you and Dean to get over here! There's a certain nephew from the future you gotta meet!"_

When they met...

_"Come on, Sam, we'll save him. We always do. You guys are our family now, remember?"_

They'd needed a family.

_"You know you can always stay here, right? There's no need for those dingey motels!"_

And...

_"Don't worry, we trust you! You're not gonna drop Wyatt."_

She hadn't thought twice.

Suddenly a thousand different scenarios began to play in her head, scene after scene of a life without the Winchesters. Piper saw herself living the Halliwell-normal life, battling demons and meeting some pretty close calls, but there were more scenes, more images of her growing old with her beloved Leo, of her sisters having children of their own. She watched as they carried on, happily, unknowingly, never burdened by the need to care for such broken, beaten boys.

Horror, thick and untempered and tasting like bile in her throat, rose to clog her windpipe. How could she? How could she ever think like that, even for just a second?

In all of her life, Piper Halliwell had never hated herself as much as she did in that moment. But with a single breath and a look to each of her sisters, she let the hatred go, knowing that there were bigger problems at hand. There was a whole world that was so beautiful and alive and _much more important _that her single second of doubt. It happened. As a mother and a wife she was entitled to a 'what if' daydream, so long as she went ahead as planned anyway.

Abruptly she felt a warm hand press upon hers, and then another on her other side, and when they all joined hands there was a rush of power that flowed between them.

They'd always been stronger together. Now they would put that to the test.

Would they be strong enough?

"Hello, brother." Sam was saying. Except it wasn't Sam; it was the devil. The other one, shorter, younger, with delicate features hardened into something dangerous, looked sad as he shook his head.

"It's good to see you, Michael."

"You, too. It's been...too long."

"Can you believe it's finally here?" There was no remorse in his voice; only disbelief and excitement.

"No." The pain was clear on his face, but his sigh was resigned. Determined. The angel stepped towards his brother, and though he was frowning, there was something in his eyes, something...thrilled. It was sickening. "Are you ready?"

As though they were going somewhere terrible, battling some unknown force side by side, as though they were preparing to protect one another from death.

The devil said, "As I'll ever be." and Sam's puppy dog eyes went falsely wide and unhappy, like the fallen angel knew he ought to look sad, but had forgotten how to feel it. Piper saw nothing but Lucifer remembering an emotion he once felt. An attachment he'd once had with his brother.

Still, it seemed, putting up an act – if not for them or Michael, for himself, surely – Lucifer tilted Sam's head to the side and murmured softly, "You know...part of me wishes we didn't have to do this?"

_Part of me_? Piper echoed. If that were her out there fighting Prue, or Phoebe, or Paige, _every fiber of her entire being _wouldn't want to do it. She would be crying and screaming and fighting the fight every step of the way. Because that was who she was. Apparently, that was not how the devil was. She wasn't even sure that he knew anything anymore except fighting and winning. Victory. Triumph.

How empty would winning a war be if you had no one to be with after?

Michael, torn yet certain, spoke up in a wavering tone.

"Yeah...me...me too." He said, voice gruff. For the first time Piper recognized the vessel as someone related to Dean – though he had told her beforehand, she hadn't seen it until now.

But of course Lucy sensed the hesitation and pounced like a cat on a mouse, stepping forwards and putting on those pitiful brown eyes again. It helped that it was Sam's honest, conflicted orbs.

"Then _why _are we?" He demanded.

Michael all but rolled his eyes, annoyance flowing from him in waves.

"Oh, you know why!" The hatred was so clear in his tone that it proved to Piper, once and for all, that what ever was left of their family bond was more of a formality than any real affection. They weren't really two brothers tragically coming to fight one another – they were two generals of opposing sides, trying their hardest to break the other's spirits. Maybe they once loved each other, Piper mused. It was obvious they hadn't in a long time.

"I have no choice after what you did."

"What _I _did?" His tone was deadly, even offended. It would've been funny if it weren't the devil. "What if it's not my fault?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Michael's question echoed Piper's thoughts. Was Lucifer trying to place the blame on someone else? Really?

Still he carried on,

"Dad made...everything...which means, he _made _me who I am! God _wanted _the devil." _And you had absolutely no choice in the matter_. Piper thought, rolling her eyes. This...No, she knew what this was like. It was like a little kid throwing a tantrum. As though a child, who'd done something wrong, was blaming it on the dog.

The other angel, Michael, who appeared a little more conflicted than the Halliwell by the fact that his Father may have created the devil, shook it off and answered, "So what."

"So why?" He pleaded. "And why make us fight? I just can't figure out the point."

The older brother's eyes narrowed, glancing at him in suspicion. Hey, if anyone deserved it, it was the devil.

"What's your point?"

The sad eyes took on a look of misery, and Piper realized it was just that – a look. An act.

"We're going to kill each other...and for what? One of Dad's tests? And we...don't even know the answer."

It looked like something was getting through to Michael.

"We're brothers." The devil whispered. "Let's just walk off the chessboard."

The other angel seemed to consider his words. He blinked back tears – as though angels cried – and had trouble breathing for a moment.

Finally, he replied, "I-I'm sorry...I can't do that.

"I'm a good son and I have my orders." The accusation behind it was pointed, and yet Lucifer barely blinked.

"You don't have to follow them!" He hissed.

"What, you think I'm going to rebel? _Now_?"

Lucifer seemed to realize he'd used the wrong tactic. Too little, too late, Piper thought.

"I'm not like you."

"Please, Michael..." The devil begged.

"No, you know, you haven't changed a _bit_, little brother..." Ironic that he'd gotten the younger host.

"Always blaming everybody but yourself," He continued. "We were together. We were happy. But you betrayed me – _all _of us – and you made our Father leave."

There was real fire behind Lucifer's furious, dead, cold eyes. Not even the gentle hazel of Sam's could soften that.

"No one makes Dad do _anything_! He is doing this..._to _us!"

"You're a monster, Lucifer." The little big brother almost seemed...sad. Not quite, but he was so close, so upset. It was real; unlike the last few times he'd tried the look.

"And I..have to kill you."

"If that's the way it's gotta be..." Then again, he didn't appear _too _upset about it all. "Then I'd like to see you try."

There was something terrifying lying in the depths of his host's eyes, something evil and unspeakable and impossible to name, and it made Piper shiver. Never in the many years that she'd known Sam had she ever thought to fear him (except that one time with the gun), never had he seemed more than anything but a big teddy bear and a broken boy. Now all she wanted to do was run as fast as she could away from him. He was going to eat her alive, watch her burn, and laugh as he broke every one of her bones. _That_ was the look in his eyes.

The grip she had on her sister's hands tightened to the point of pain. No one even thought about letting go.

Halliwells _never_ let go.

* * *

The friendship between the Halliwell sisters and the Winchester brothers was one of the oddest friendships that had ever existed. Angels hadn't anticipated it; demons fled in terror from it; and the rest of the magical community either didn't care or had no idea what to do with it. It had come out of nowhere. Both sets of siblings had prophesies about them, but no one had anticipated that they would mix. Surely an angel of destiny was up on a cloud somewhere laughing at all of them.

It didn't seem like it would work, either. Piper and Dean – _separately –_ had enough stubbornness to drive inanimate objects to suicide, and when put in the same room together would turn a thousand years old before admitting that the other was right. Not to mention Dean's womanizing ways – none of the women ever tried dating him because of that, that or they had other men, or because of his hunter status – and that it usually annoyed him to find hot, strong women who just wanted to be friends with him. No benefits.

Sam, former demon-blood junkie, looked like he was the last person the Halliwell's would befriend, too. Also, wannabe _lawyer_, people they hadn't had good luck with in the past, and a personality that one simply wouldn't expect to blend so well with the other manor's occupants.

Phoebe could be a lovesick moron sometimes – Piper's words – and Paige could be grumpy, and Piper was not the most patient, tolerable of persons; and all in all it seemed like someone dumping baking soda and vinegar in a pot together to see what would happen. Boom, right?

Wrong. Somehow, defying laws of all sorts, prophesies around the world, soothsayers and fortune-tellers and everyone who ever thought they knew _some piece _of the future, the five had become friends.

Maybe it was Piper doting like the worriable mother she was on Dean and Sam, a pair who'd barely known their mother. Perhaps it was the way Phoebe flirted with them in a playful, mostly friendly way, showing them that love didn't have to come in the form of a romance or a parent or a parent-figure - it could come from a friend, too.

Or maybe it was how Paige, after explaining orbing to them, always came when they called, therefore proving that they were never completely alone.

Or it could've been how the boys let the whole witch thing slide, going against everything they'd ever been taught because these people were so _different_, and Sam trusting them with his problems, and Dean asking them for help to break his deal.

Okay, so no one _really _knew when or how or why they became friends. That didn't really matter anymore. They shared a bond. As an old drunk once said, family doesn't end with blood. Theirs certainly surpassed it.

And that was something the devil didn't understand, Piper thought wearily. It was weird to find even more pity welling up for this despicable, genocidal monster, but despite her complaints the witch knew she had something wonderful that not many did nowadays; a _real_ family. And Lucifer had lost his.

The first vanquishing spell/potion combination did nothing more than gain his attention. This was not a good thing, as his attention had gone a bit murderous.

"Halliwell," He said slowly, turning Sam's eyes upon her. "Did you just try to vanquish my brother?"

Despite her very bones being made of determination, Piper gulped in fear. They knew that you couldn't vanquish an Angel. Certainly not Micheal the freakin _archangel_. Although it would take care of him for a minute or two.

"No one. Messes with Michael. But _me_."

All this little show would do was buy them time until Dean got here with the calvary, which was just any insane person willing to be on Team Free Will. Leo's wife reckoned that made three or four people, not counting Halliwells.

Beside her, Phoebe stiffed as though sensing her sister's thoughts. Perhaps she did.

The empath wasn't stupid; she knew this wasn't their fight. This wasn't even a fight they could win. But then again, that sounded like their kind of fight.

Phoebe threw herself into action with a side-kick sped with levitation, clutching at one of many amulets of protection around her neck. BAM! Her foot made contact and it felt like it'd just hit a concrete wall, making her crash to the ground in a heap. The necklace in her hand was now smoking and charred, and when she glanced up, dazed, from the ground, her eyes met a cool green-brown, cold and angry. And it was like looking Death in the face – only the Angel of Death was actually pretty cute and sorta nice, and was really just doing his job, whereas the man in front of her...he killed for the _pleasure _of it.

"Hey, Sam." She said weakly. Something small flashed in the devil's eyes and she almost missed it. But she couldn't miss the emotion as it shot through her.

Not even when he rolled his eyes, waved a hand, and send her flying into a nearby gravestone at a hundred miles an hour could she forget the feeling. And the best part? It wasn't Lucifer's; it was _Sam's_.

_So this isn't quite a suicide mission._ She thought, heart soaring. Okay, so she probably had a concussion – despite the many, many charms and spells of protection she had going for her right now – and Dean wasn't here yet which was really bad, and it looked like the devil had just orbed Paige into a grave, and Piper was bleeding on the ground, and yet there _was _hope. The odds of survival had gone from one-in-a-million (do you know how unlikely that really is? Do you?) to more like...one in a thousand. Not promising, but it was something. It was a chance.

Man, um...was the world supposed to go all bendy when you stood up? 'Cause Phoebe didn't think a random earthquake was happening.

"Oohh...kay..." She moaned, closing her eyes to avoid vertigo as she levitated off the ground. Just in time, too – when she re-opened her eyes, it was to see a completely demolished head stone below.

"Can you Charmed Ones be anything but an _annoyance_?" He hissed at her.

The empath flashed him a sarcastic smile that would made Paige proud.

"We try." And she attempted another kick, this time faking him out to throw a few punches right before her leg hit. Now she was glad she'd taken that slime-tasting regeneration potion prior to coming here. If this martial artist had ever punched something as bone-breaking as the-devil-wearing-Sam's-face, she had no memory of it.

When flesh met flesh, the flicker of emotion, before too weak to tell which one but strong enough to vibrate under Phoebe's skin, exploded in her chest. Fear. Pain. Anxiety. Regret. Guilt. A sadness so deep it was as though the devil was already to the pulling out her heart and crumbling it to dust in front of her eyes stage. The woman gasped and forced herself to fly away; staying close-ish but distant enough to live. The punch hadn't hurt him, she was smart enough to know. Even the ring meant to burn whoever she fought with hadn't scratched the angel. If she was lucky, perhaps Sam's face would have a mark for a few days.

The only real damage had been done to her and most of it was emotional. The younger Winchester boy was alive and fighting, a prisoner in his own skin.

Oh God, the helplessness. Tears pricked the back of her eyes. The only thing she might compare it to was being buried alive – but ten times worse.

At this, her eyes widened. Ducking was a reflex, and his lazy attack missed by miles, but her eyes were searching the lot frantically. Paige. She'd forgotten about Paige. Where was Paige? Why wasn't her sister back yet, fighting?

Looking very fierce with blood trickling down her head was Piper, standing some feet behind the devil and creatively switching from blowing up the ground around him, exploding trees, and trying it on him a few times in the furtive hope that it would be more than a tickle.

But where was Paige? The middle Halliwell sister sucked in a breath and forced herself to calm down even as she swerved a second time. Or was it a third?

"Paige.." She murmured, hand over heart. Soon enough, concentrating on her sister focused her empathic powers and there was a sort of distant tugging on her chest. This was an upgrade to her powers that she still loved. It only worked with people she cared about, but still, empathic locating? How awesome was that?!

There. Under Edward Gutierrez, a loving father and husband. A morbid smile rose to the love fanatic's lips. She dropped to hover an inch above the dirt, always wary of the enemy at her back, and shouted to the girl six feet under.

"PAIGE! PAIGE! COME ON, PAIGE! WE NEED YOU!"

Blue orbs scared her as they formed next to the head stone, revealing a girl with mussed hair and sprinkled with dust, a furious expression on her face and someone's bony arm in her hands. Ew. Poor Edward.

"You try orbing sideways under six feet of dirt." Her little sister snapped. But there was little time for a comeback or a hug, and Phoebe barely but seconds to tackle her away from another invisible slice. Courtesy of Yours Truly, The Devil.

"Where the hell is Dean?" Paige demanded, both sisters tugging themselves to their feet.

"Late." Was what Phoebe replied. Then she soared off to rejoin her older sister in combat, leaving Paige to scowl at a crumbled headstone.

Suddenly the three sisters felt their blood boiling in their veins. Phoebe crumpled from the sky and impacted hard with a tree. Piper tipped over unto a headstone, but ever stubborn, refused to sink past her hands and knees. Paige's head connected painfully with a large piece of stone as she fell. All three were screaming in pain as their spells began to fail, and the angel gained control of every single one of their hearts.

Their distraction was over.

"NOO!"  
"PLEASE"  
"AHHH!""

Each one thought they were going to die, and almost wanted to so that the pain would end, and yet, the were still alive. Somewhat.

Through a dark tunnel, the eldest Halliwell was aware of a shadow above her. It took every ounce of strength she had left to crain her head up, up, up...and see Sam. No, not Sam. She remembered. Lucifer.

"Piper." He said her name in that arrogant, taunting way of his. And she had felt _sorry _for this...this _demon? _No. She dug her nails into the dirt, arms shaking as they barely held her weight. This was Hell, but it wasn't finished.

"M-m-mo...ns-ste-r-r..." She grit out. There was the bitter, coppery taste of blood in her mouth, and a trickle was also obstructing the view from her left eye.

_I should probably get that looked at. _She thought in a detached manner. In reality, she was way more focused on the opponent before her.

And then he did something unspeakable, something worse than his hurting her or watching her scream in agony, or stealing her friends' body; he _ignored _her.

"Piper, Piper, Piper. I thought the famous Charmed Ones were better than this." He poked her in the head and sent her toppling to the grass. It was embarrassing – yet all her energy had gone into that one word.

"But again, I suppose you really are nothing more than an _annoyance._ You're like a bug that just...won't...die." With each word he punctuated his point with a hard kick into her stomach, turning her world into a universe of red. Why couldn't he simply kill her? Was that too much to ask for? How could everything hurt so badly?

And then from a great distance, she heard the sound of a savior riding in on his trusty steed; Dean Winchester finally arriving in his 1967 Chevy Impala, blasting some stupid music or whatever.

She slumped to the side and let her eyes drift closed. She didn't hear Dean's speech, she didn't see Michael's return, or Bobby and Castiel exploding, or one brother beating the crap out of the other. She most certainly didn't see the look in Sammy's eyes as he regained control. No one but Dean watched as his brother was _finally _reached, and slowly, struggled to pull out the five connecting rings. No one got to see any of that.

And then the oldest Winchester was left alone, in a field of dead bodies, dead friends, as Sam jumped into the pit. He'd had to wait – he'd had to bring his car. Chuck had said...the prophet had promised that it was vital in reaching Sammy...but now Dean wondered if it had even been worth it at all. His world had ended anyway when Sammy died. Nothing seemed to matter anymore, and time began to slow down. Or speed up – he couldn't tell the difference.

Castiel came back. Said God revived him and the Winchester was too hollow to argue. Soon the angel revived Bobby and Piper and Phoebe and Paige.

And when the sisters wrapped their arms around him and all four sank to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably, Dean thought that maybe, _just maybe_...

Someday...

Years from now...

With their help...

He would be okay. But not today.

* * *

**A/N:** See? Not completely hopeless. Aw, now I really wish that the Winchester boys really _did _have a family like that – you know, one that wasn't completely dysfunctional or supernatural or deceased. Oh, well.

Don't ask me where I got the idea to be serious. No clue.

Well, hope you liked it! I had fun writing it, even though I did rush the ending a bit (but who was I to change an awesome finale? You know, too much. lol) and it probably needs a serious spell-check. That's for mornings, right? I promise I'll edit it tomorrow, how about that? :D

Thanks for reading! Please fave/follow, review, and please please keep on a' reading! Love you guys!

**P.S**. Totally working on the next Living Charmed chapter! Promise, promise! Maybe it'll be out in...two weeks? Ish?


	14. Charmed meets DW: That Old Blue Box

Thank you to everyone who faved/followed, read or reviewed! You guys are the reason I'm not procrastinating as much as I used to! ^^ Hope you like this little one!

Charmed Season - ?!

Character(s) - Piper

Doctor Who Season/Series - It really fits with any Doctor, in any particular episode. Just picture his companions...off somewhere, at the moment. :D

Character(s) - The Tardis and The Doctor. Whichever regeneration you'd like (I pictured Ten or Eleven but whatever).

**Disclaimer - I don't own Doctor Who, Charmed, or the very magnificent TARDIS.**

* * *

**Charmed Meets Doctor Who: That Old Blue Box**

It was the most beautiful blue Piper had ever seen. Deep and mysterious, royal and proud, and just dark enough of a shade to promise something unexpected wherever it went. The bulb on top shone bright, even in the daylight; and the windows seemed to be smiling from the light within.

Why it said 'Police Box' was beyond her, and the sign that ordered (in big, bold print) to 'Pull To Open' was simply silly as you _didn't _pull to open, you pushed, but none of that was her favorite thing about the box. Not at all. In fact, the appearance, although beautiful to the Charmed One, was second or maybe even third on the list of things she adored about the Doctor's Police Box.

Her favorite thing about the TARDIS was how it – no, _she – felt_. Piper could place a hand on one of the wooden sides and feel it's warmth and how worn and tired it was, how big and beautiful and wonderful and _forever _the ship was, and how much it could hold; she had never known something to hold so much _sadness _and _longing _and...at the same time, possess an infinite amount of _peace _and contentedness.

The time machine was much more than its name suggested – perhaps Piper would go so far as to say it wasn't a machine at all. She was a person. A something, a species, made for one single purpose in the last ages of her long, forever life; to accompany a lonely man.

They were lonely together, Piper mused. Abruptly she realized she'd pressed her forehead against the frame and was stroking the TARDIS again, and she leaned back with a small smile.

Truly, in all her experience with inhumanly things, this was the most elegant, superbly wondrous and stunning object she had ever had the pleasure of laying her eyes upon. It was alluring in the softest, sweetest way – like a low lullaby murmured by a mother.

She hadn't gotten it before – why the blue box was important, why the Doctor was so tied to it – but now she did.

The immortal alien wasn't tied to the TARDIS – _she _was tied to _him_. Whatever the ship's reasons, it was magnificent to see such an unlikely companionship lasting beyond time, after space. Piper thought it was kinda dazzling.

Sometimes she spoke to the ship. Not that she'd let anyone catch her doing it, of course – she couldn't let _everyone _know how much of a softie she was becoming, could she? – but she figured the poor gal deserved it.

Now she whispered words into the wood for the last time, loving how she could feel the content hum of the ship's response beneath her palms.

"You keep looking after him, alright?" Piper could almost see the TARDIS nodding; perhaps she could, the ship was telepathic.

"..You know, you're kind of an angel. I would know, being married to one." She sniffed back tears. Tears of getting a splinter in her eye, definitely, not of sadness that accompanied such a sorrowful departure.

"Thank you for staying with a lonely man...all those years. It's a...a beautiful thing."

She sniffed again, letting one hand linger longer than the other.

"Just like you."

A pulse vibrated through her fingers, one so warm and startling and the teeniest bit ticklish she began to laugh. The TARDIS was telling her goodbye! Better than that, the ship was cheering her up, too.

It was with more reluctance than ever than Piper finally took her hand away. When she heard the door of the small blue door opening, she quickly wiped any trace of tears from her eyes.

"Doctor." She greeted. Somehow he'd known the exact moment to come out, and she silently thanked him for it. She dared not say it aloud, even though this was the last time she might ever see of him.

The witch breathed in deep, calling on all of her strength for this next part.

She'd bid the ship farewell; now it was time for the man.

* * *

**A/N: **Because the tardis deserves some love, too. Lol Did I just make a PiperxTARDIS pairing? 'Cause I had no intention of that. This was soo not that.

Anyway, this was just a fun little one-shot. The context would probably be Piper deciding that her husband and children (and the Innocent community of San Fransisco) need her too much for her to be time travelin' 'round the 'verse. So...she's bidding that life a fond farewell. At least she has enough power to make it out alive, lol.

Please keep reading and reviewing! :D Thank you guys so much!


End file.
